Earthiness

Inside the primary school where I work there is a student care centre. The school is a low ranking neighbourhood school in terms of academic performance. The majority of students come from lower income families. This student care centre (SCC) inside the school has a higher percentage of children from dysfunctional families compared to other SCCs. This is because children from our school with family problems that are brought to MCYS' attention are often referred to this SCC. This occurs when MCYS deems that the kids are better off at the SCC than staying at home. Their fees are substantially paid for by MCYS.

I was down at the SCC to do storytelling today. I went a bit early and had some time to look around before the session. As I have 2 student counselees attending the SCC I know some of the staff there. Today however was the first time I met the cook cum housekeeper. She is a short and stout middle-aged lady with short punky hair. Today she wore a loose red T-shirt hanging over her shorts and looked very much like a housewife at home. She caught my attention because she was disciplining 4 boys aged about 10 or 11 years whilst holding a feather duster in her hand. "My,my.." I thought to myself "How can they leave a cook to do the disciplining!", the high horse counsellor in me is at work. However as I pondered and listened to what she said to the boys, I became more and more intrigued. From her words which was in Mandarin I gathered there was a squabble amongst them. She then addressed each boy one by one, pointing out how each boy's actions affect the others. She however also spoke of the strength in each of their character. So she would say something like "You are actually very helpful and kind most of the time but when....da da da happens you go...da da da " I was surprised that the 4 kids did not put up fierce rebuttal and resistance but instead told her their side of the story. I had the impression that they respected her.

Half way through my story telling session she served me tea. When my session was over she offered me green pea soup and we chatted at length about the children. I was able to take a closer look at her. When she laughed I noticed her teeth were uneven, chipped and stained. However far from being repulsive they seem to reinforce the warmth that exudes from her. She had worked there for 8 years and has learnt on the job how to handle kids. I complimented her about the way she disciplined them using the slap and "sayang" (love) method. She told me she reads up a lot about child behaviour and ways to manage children. Wow "zhen de pei fu, pei fu" (my deep respect). I hope I am not romanticising her.

I left the place feeling somewhat light and cheerful. I don't really know why. Maybe I am infected by the woman's earthiness. I thought about the differences in people whom I interact with now versus those in my previous job. I used to admire the suaveness, eloquence and good looks of the bankers that came to peddle their products and occasionally enjoyed the witty banters with them. You can say they feasted my eyes (especially the good looking ang mos) and tickled my intellect. I would walk away feeling pleased when I managed to outwit them. However as these interactions weren't authentic they were not held in the heart and they evaporated like a mist. Needless to say there was also much pretences amongst colleagues for the sake of survival or avoidance of pain from the bosses. Such interactions are best forgotten haha.

After my resignation I have met people who are very very differnt, my classmates in my counselling class, my ex-colleagues at the Family Service Centre, my colleagues in school and my student counselees not the least. Just like the woman I met today at the SCC, we do not engage with our masks. Hence the feeling of warm earthiness.