They bring Hope

Extracts from "The Secret Spiritual World of Children" by Tobin Hart:

"Children can be our spiritual leaders. They lead us to love, sacrifice, responsibility, and all sorts of things which we hardly knew we were capable. As adults, we often think of our relationship with children as involving our helping them to develop but they help us grow as well. Development is mutual……..

There is something quite remarkable about the presence of a child that serves to activate our spiritual nature- our capacity for wonder, passion, communion and hope. …….. Our heart reaches out when we see a child in pain or danger. We soften, even melt, as a child stares softly at us or looks for a lap or a hug. We stoop down, become silly, want to draw in close and suddenly lighten as if gravity no longer has the same pull when we are in their presence..."

This 12 year old Indian boy is not my client but the elder brother of one. He occasionally drops in during recess to chat. He had been quite distressed over his poor maths grades which would send his tearful father retreating quietly to his bedroom. After some persuasion, the school teachers managed to get the father to consent for the boy to take Foundation Maths (a more basic syllabus) instead.

Yesterday was racial harmony day when children were asked to dress in their traditional costume to school. I was feeling rather down suffering a bit from parental guilt of some sort. A knock on the door was followed by the entrance of the boy dressed in his white Indian traditional costume. Something about him, the smile on his face, the cheerful countenance plus the all-white cottonly costume lifted me instantly. I remarked that he looked happy. He was pleased that he has topped the Foundation Math class and the school intends to move him to another class, a level of higher difficulty. He came in however to tell me about another secret "project" he is doing. He is planning to give his parents a big surprise on their wedding anniversary. He tries to save $2 a week but finds it a bit of challenge. He asked my opinion whether giving them a treat at Swenson will be a good idea. As he deliberated whether he should leave his parents to have their own private dinner and spoke about his parents revisiting the place where they met every anniversary I noticed the love he has for his parents just flowing out like a fountain. For a second I thought to myself, "He looks like an angel".

I have spoken with his mum before on the phone over his younger brother's behavioural problems. She had sounded so troubled, burdened and disappointed with her childrens' academic performance. What she didn't realise was she and her husband have imparted the virtues of Love (which inched up my own guilt a bit though). Nevertheless, hearing the boy spoke so lovingly of his parents I saw hope for the family. In a flash it reminded me that there is always hope admist any bleakness and was lightened "as if gravity no longer has the same pull".