Over the weekend a party was organised for an ex colleague who retired. It was a heartwarming gathering of about 30 people who worked with an organisation for years together before going separate ways, after some massive organisational restructuring. Somehow I felt that the people in the room were once brought together by some unseen hand such that an indelible experience and pleasant memories were ours to keep and treasure for years.
On the big wishing card I wrote something like wishing him a fulfilling retirement. Reading the book "A New Earth" and reflecting a bit about my own early retirement afterwards, I felt I have penned wrongly. What on earth is a "Fulfilling retirement?" Gosh! Ain't I putting pressure on him to feel "fulfilled" when he can just go all out to be himself. Isn't the constant quest for fulfillment in a person a sign of an underlying sense of incompleteness.
Ekhart Tolle discusses our continuous quest for more; and our constant worries about not being good enough (compared to others). A sentence from the book reads "You will always be looking for something else that promises greater fulfillment, that promises to make your incomplete sense of self complete, and fill that sense of lack you feel within." So the ego in us finds ways and means to feel complete,special or one up over others. It may be the quest for material things and status, to be powerful and in control of others; or perhaps buiding an image of being someone who has it ALL. Alternatively one may feel that instead of pursuing wealth or having lost the means to do so, chooses to be involved in charity work to feel like a person with more "substance" than others. I am rather aware of my own need to feel "useful" to feel complete. Hence I try to check my intentions before I act. Ah! If only we can stop seeing ourselves in the eyes of others.
Ok when I next meet my colleague who retired, I shall tell him, "Eh balek balek, I want to rewrite my wishes for you. I wish you will find peace and contentment just BEING yourself"
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