My Mommy is Magic

Last Friday I resumed story telling at the library after taking a 4 month break to concentrate on my studies and practicum. I prepared 2 interesting stories. When I left 4 months ago my audience consisted a mix of older children 6 and above and younger preschoolers. Used to be when I first started more than a year ago the audience was predominantly primary school children who enjoyed tales with twists and turns and would hold their breath when the story is exciting.

Last Friday only about 9 children turned up (which the librarian thought was due to exam period). What I did not expect was a majority of nursery and kindergarten kids who are Chinese nationals and whose command of English is rather low. The trouble is you can't really tell who your audience is until they walk in. There were however 2 older girls about 8 years old. I had to make my story easier to understand and added a lot of sound props and actions. I lost the attention of 3 younger children completely although I noticed 2 other China National girls who were very well behaved listening intently and trying to grasp the story.

Only the 2 older Spore girls liked the story. When I finished the first story I told the 2 older girls that there being so many smaller kids around I have to read a picture book. So I casually picked one from the books being displayed. It caught my eyes because the cover has a big drawing of a mother and a little girl and the words "My Mommy is Magic".

Little did I expect the magic of such a simple book with only a few words in each page. In the book a little girl speaks about the magic of her mommy because mommy kisses away the pain in her finger, knows what she wants to whisper in her ear, chases away the monster in her nightmare etc etc. Few words but when read with the right intonation and expression sparks the feelings of awe and love everytime we read together the last line in each page "Mommy is Magic". What was more surprising, even the 2 older girls seemed to enjoy doing that.

What I gathered from that session is that to have an enjoyable session for the kids, it does not necessary have to be a story that is content based. Something simple which the children can relate and which can stir the magical feelings of wonder will be equally good if not better. Being philosophical I just keep thinking it is the same with life. We do not need to pack it with interesting events or accomplishment all the time. Sometimes we can allow ourselves to dream and wonder at simple things like feeling the care shown us by our loved ones.

Only later did I realise with a smile, it coincided with MOTHER's DAY WEEKEND :D

Mother's Day- Reflection

Yesterday my husband's extended family went out to celebrate mother's day. My "elder" sister-in-law (wife of my husband's elder brother who is actually a year younger than me) was busy chasing her grandson round the restaurant. My sister-in-law is from a very different background as me. In my generation, in many cases depending on the academic achievement, siblings from the same family can land up in vastly different segments of society. My husband's elder brother was not good in his studies and hence worked as a fisherman, construction worker amongst many other occupation. To make ends meet, my sister-in-law worked very hard to supplement the family income. She brought up her 3 sons well and they appreciate her struggles(because their father used to gamble his income away). Throughout the years, we often heard from my mother in law about the troubles in that family and how my sister in law held the family together. Now things are much much better. My elder nephew is a policeman whilst the other 2 signed on with the army.

Yesterday when I saw my sister-in-law running after her grandson and her joy when inviting us to the ROM ceremony of her second son, I felt she really deserved all this happiness.

I now cast the scene to my family. I of course married late and my children have not even completed their studies. But the difference is more than that. My children, especially my son caution me against transference and projection onto others. So I am reminded to look for fulfilment in my OWN life and not through my children, ie. I should not feel happy or fulfilled only when my children are happy or fulfilled. In short I have to "regain the experience of myself...as the creative bearer of my own life" (Eric Fromm).

Goodness me, what a grilling! I told my children many women, especially Asian women center their lives on their children. I am not alone in having feelings which highly correlate with that of my children. Isn't that part of MOTHER nature? Ha, apparently that is what my children hate ie. when I always say "many people are like that too". They say I need to have more focus and determination to be different and what the herd does is not an excuse for being lazy to change.

Reflecting on what they say it is not without logic. I think whilst being a good mother is to bring up children to be wholesome and happy individuals (to our best ability and knowledge, don't kill yourself if you don't have much haha), we should also look to our inner self to find our own fulfilment. However if fulfilment is running after your grandson like my sister-in-law, just be joyful about it.

HOPE

Today whilst watching the programme "! Say- Episode 2 " which talks about leaders and people who show resilience in overcoming crisis, something which William Tan (the neuro-scientist who overcome polio to run marathon etc) stikes me.

He said he is blessed with one parent who " embraces HOPE...who shifts mindset from despair, pain and anxiety to HOPE "

I thought to myself this is the most valuable value which any parent can impart to their children. I know I did not. Often I was embroiled in anxiety and despair at the smallest obstacle and whined my way through my difficulties. Sigh....but it is not too late for me and my children (haha) to learn.

I also recalled during a few supervision sessions with my counselling supervisor and the consultant in the Family Service centre (where I interned), they asked me how I will proceed with my clients (after discussing "difficult" cases which I am at a lost). I remembered saying something to the effect of instilling HOPE in my client or making sure the client doesn't lose HOPE.

Going forward I shall use this as my guiding principle working with all my clients. (Yipee I am offered part time counselling job with a primary school starting new school term).

Other than meeting the child's goal, my modus operandi shall be:

To enable the child to feel good about themselves &
To enable the child to accept their limitations and strengths and to feel OK about them and

to share with the children the resilience of William and a phrase often quoted by him:
"Tough times never last but Tough people Do"