Styles of family communication

Virginia Satir ( a well know family therapist from the 50s to 80s )classified styles of communication within families into 5 categories:

The Placater: Always tries to please, agrees and apologizes all the time and acts weak.

The Blamer: Always blames another for things that go wrong, dominates and is self righteous. Eg. "He is just like you, that's the way you raise him"

The Super-Reasonable: Remains detached, calm, cool, trying hard not to be emotionally involved.

The Irrelevant: Distracts others, never taking any position, afraid to offend. Eg in the midst of a family dispute could ask what is for dinner.

The Congruent Communicator: Real, expressive and sends genuine messages.

What are probably their inner feelings?

Placater : Worthless without the rest, "I am just here to make you happy"

Blamer: Lonely and feelings of failure and reacts by attacking as a cover up.

Super Reasonable: Vulnerable and hides behind their intellect to conceal real feelings.

Irrelevant: No significance, acts cute and harmless to gain approval.

The congruent communicator (which every member should strive to be within a family) has the confidence and self esteem to be themselves and to express their real thoughts and feelings.