In MY OPINION

Under the draft Protection from Online Falsehoods and Manipulation Bill the ministers will be given the power to decide what is false and to order actions. Upon the 'advice' of civil servants, the respective minister decides if a statement is false and whether actions need to be taken to safeguard public interest. The line of actions can include making a correct statement alongside the false content, ordering statement to be taken down, order tech companies to block certain sites or accounts or instruct a police investigation if malicious intent is detected. Of course there is also a recourse for appeal to minister or court for the aggrieved party.

To assure people that freedom of speech is still intact the government says the proposed law deals with statements of fact and not OPINION.

Now I must warn my husband because ever so often he gets his facts all confused and makes a statement which is not really factual and is more of his imagination. Often when I grill him he will admit that is what he thinks. Thus I often tell him he must preclude his statement with "IN MY OPINION" or "I THINK AH..."

So I was just thinking out aloud of the 20 year old lad who expressed that he wanted to throw an egg at a certain minister. If he had said on facebook " IN MY OPINION the minister deserves an online egg " will he be absolved?

Now I also ask myself why am I so frustrated with people who bullshit. I deduce it to my laziness to think twice or analyze what is being said. I don't realise that if I am so easily MISLED it is because I am not curious enough to find out the truth and just want to be spoon fed. (Don't go there I am going to blame the system again!).

Now back to MY OPINION on the draft bill: I WORRY about
- over reliance on a benevolent government with absolute power (never say never, like any great dynasty a government can also deteriorate over time)
- developing a habit in netizens of needing to be told what is true or not
- the poor ministers, they can always tell what is true or not true meh? Is everything in life just black or white, no grey area or ambiguity? Will their judgement not be tinted by conditions, upbringing, values etc etc?

Maybe those movies on Stasi (East German secret police ) and the KGB stir my imagination but I just fear such dark era descending on us.

总而言之 I don't feel good about this (opinion ok?)

Beware of Frivolous speech

Gosh I can't believe that our police is carrying out further investigations just because a 20 year old lad expressed on Facebook that he felt like throwing an egg at a certain minister! Another person who commented on the lad's posting providing information on the minister's meet-the-people session is also being investigated for inciting violence!!! The poor lad now admits it was a joke.

Honestly it is no joking business. The police better educate the public on what kind of acts will constitute inciting violence or breaking the law. What normal people perceive as joke can now be interpreted as intention to cause harm. What about jokingly throwing eggs at your neighbour online? Can your neighbour now lodge a police report too or does this right belong to certain people only? Further, will Facebook and other social media companies be expected to include 'the threat to throw eggs' as a direct threat of violence in Singapore and which under the media company's inhouse rule has to be removed.

To reiterate it is no joking business we have to be reminded that even a private comment on Facebook by the PM's nephew residing overseas resulted in him being taken to court. He had opined in a private Facebook posting saying that the Singapore Government 'is very litigious and has a pliant court system'.

Therefore instead of pretending to uphold freedom of speech the police should just directly come out with a list of 'Forbidden Speech' or 'Silly Words which may land you in Jail' for the benefit of clueless netizens who may not be aware they are on the wrong side of the law with frivolous speech.

Japan train travel

Just came back from a trip in Japan covering 4 places by train. If you want to stave off dementia for a year or two, stay in Japan and navigate their rail transport which can be quite overwhelming.

First of all there are more than 100 private companies providing rail transport in Japan including the 6 companies under the JR (Japan Rail) Group and 16 other major regional companies. Intercity travel and subway travel crisscross in many stations. My husband and I were confused and groping around at a transfer station because the same location has 2 different station names depending on the line you are taking.

For intercity travel you must be familiar with the name of the train and their pattern of stopping. The local train stops at every station, the 'limited express', 'express' and 'rapids' stop at fewer stations in variation. If you get into the wrong train you will panic when the train whiz pass your destination. To get to any destination you must first of all do some homework to see which lines get you there  fastest and with the least transfer. At the major stations you must hunt for the signs that lead to that line. Not only must you look above you must also look below as some of the signages are on the floor. Then you must look for the platform and the time of departure. Here one must also be careful because the same platform can also serve different lines. As the trains whiz past at frequency of minutes to different destinations you must glue your eyes to the electronic signage for the exact timing of departure to your destination.

Next you must also cast your eyes downwards. There are spots on the floor of the platform that show where the train doors will be when the train stops. As different types of train have different number of carriages, the electronic signage will also indicate the type of train you will be travelling on. You must then follow the spots on the floor belonging to that particular type of train. Otherwise you may be waiting at a spot where a shorter train may not stop.In addition for intercity travel where your ticket does not come with a reserve seat you must be familiar with the car or carriage numbers of that particular train that are meant for free seating. Once we had to drag our luggage from the front car  to the third last car when the train was moving because we hopped onto the car for reserved seating. Another lesson learnt for not being mindful of our feet was when a soft spoken Japanese lady politely pointed at my husband's feet. On the floor was a pink sign which says "women" indicating it was meant only for ladies.

Nevertheless I am always thrilled when the intercity trains with its long sleek nose approach the platform. Moreover once you are comfortably seated after the great hustle you begin to enjoy the  smooth train ride admiring its punctuality and efficiency. Just an hour or two and we are transported from a bustling mega city to scenic country sides and mountains. Working the mind to enjoy the quiet is just perfect for a retiree.

She ain't heavy

There is a recent news report about a 12 year old girl in China who died when she laid on top of her younger sibling while a fire engulfed their house. The girl was apparently the caregiver as her parents were often not around. This made me recall a session I had with a pair of siblings at the Children's Home, an 8 year old boy and his 6 year old sister.

The boy was recommended for play therapy as he had increasingly been throwing tantrum. For several sessions the underlying theme about his stories at play was the need to be safe, secure and protected. Hence he would build a nice home with  toy beds and furniture for the little toy children  but also ensured the home was well barricaded such that no one could attack the children. He even had fierce animals guarding the gates.

Of late his play has a more nurturing theme (eg. cooking and feeding). This is a good development. Soon he requested that his younger sister joins in the play therapy. With the social worker's approval I now work with both siblings together. During the first session I had the impression the boy was often bossing his sister around, occasionally shouting at her and making her wailed in tears. I then told him to be more gentle and loving.

At the recent session, the second I had with them, I discovered more about his predicament. The session started off badly with the sister cutting her foot as she rushed barefooted to the therapy room. When the staff sent her to my room after dressing the bruised foot, she was already in a crying mood. Throughout the session she would start wailing when she did not get what she wanted. I noticed when the girl started to cry the boy would get very agitated. He would shout at her to stop crying while trying to accommodate her wishes. He told her he would only give in on condition that she stopped crying immediately. However his shouting only made her wail louder and he seemed so emotionally overwhelmed when she continued wailing and shrieking. Even when she got what she wanted she still sobbed continuously remarking that the brother was still angry with her. I then made him hugged her instead of shouting at her which worked for a short while. When the sister started to cry again over a toy which was out of battery, he was visibly distressed again. I pulled him aside and told him it is alright to ignore her crying and leave her alone when her demands are unreasonable. He looked a bit surprised when I told him that and he played on his own before another episode started again.

It is quite heart breaking to see this pair of emotionally co-dependent siblings trying to survive in an institution away from home and their parents. I can see that the boy feels responsible for taking care of his sister but is often overwhelmed and does not know how to handle the shrieks of a 6 year old. His inability to calm her down makes him panicky thus resorting to shouting at her. We must not forget that he himself is only 8 years old and is feeling insecure himself as indicated in the theme of his sandplay. I have a feeling that her cries may also remind and surface his own inner fears and sadness. The sister is evidently dependent on the brother for emotional support hence sobbing often about his anger towards her. I therefore have to teach him to set boundaries for himself while validating his care and concern for his sister.

Psychologists have often cited the negative effects of "parentification" which is a form of emotional distress when a child has to become the caregiver of a sibling. I think the emotional toll can be exacting. Apparently children who grow up parenting their parents or siblings are more likely to suffer from anxiety and depression.

Immediately after the second session, I was considering engaging the siblings separately  in the coming sessions as it was quite challenging having them together. However now that I reflect on it, I feel the more I should be helping them interact, as in helping the boy develop some emotional boundaries while at the same time showing affections when his sister requires it.

Though "she ain't heavy, she's my sister",
"the road is long with many a winding turn"

An Endearing Recall

My masseur is a Malaysian young lady from Perak. We usually engage in some small talk at the start of the body massage before I fall into deep relaxation.  She shared about her trip home during the CNY holidays and that her mother touched 4D (lottery). Her mum went to buy 4D after a quarrel started between her brother and his wife. I was puzzled. Firstly, why was her mum in the mood to buy 4D when family members were quarreling and what 4 digit number arose in her mind. My masseur laughed when I enquired about the later. "Just get the number from Tua Pek Kong (God of Prosperity), " she quipped. In a few moments I had a flashback of me as a child in Kuala Lumpur flipping through a little pink booklet with many little drawings, each drawing had a 3 digit number. Each page of the booklet had about 20 boxed drawings arranged in 4 rows.  The drawing in each box can be that of an object or an activity with descriptions in both Malay and Chinese words. So my masseur's mum must have looked for the picture depicting a quarrel to get the 'inspired' number to bet on. I remember being very amused by the exhaustive coverage of objects and activities or events including for example being chased by a dog, urinating and objects like songkok (Malay hat) and Dettol. This dictionary has 9,999 items and has been part of Malaysian life for generations. I understand that the latest version even has a number for nuclear bomb!

I then asked my masseur whether we can find a similar booklet in Singapore. She again laughed at my ignorance and replied in a matter of fact voice "上 网就有了" (available in the internet ). My brief research showed that one can download an App using android. However what is most amazing and true to Malaysian style, the Malaysian National Lottery , Magnum has on its website a sub heading called "Number Inspiration". Hitting the 4D Dictionary icon there is a search bar where you can type words  which will come up with many prompts, each with a number attached. For example when I type 'dog' an endless list of suggestions appears including: hitting a dog, pillow torn by dog, blind dog, dog eating poo, dog sleeping with cat, dead dog, stepping on dog poo and dog barking near a grave.

I had a good laugh and now recall why the book was so fascinating to me as a child flipping through it. That perhaps is one of many factors why Malaysia is still so endearing to me even after I have left 5 decades ago.

To Feel Young

Chinese New Year period always makes me reflect on aging, partly because of the unexpected aging faces of relatives I meet or the look in the eyes of people who presumably are surprised by how much I have aged. I myself am occasionally shocked by my own mirror image. "When did my eyes shrink in size amidst the puffy eyelids, my lips become so thin, my cheeks so sunken and my dark spots seem darker?" It didn't help when someone shared old photographs of my aunties when they were in their 60s. I must say I look older than them and I can see how my nieces and nephews view me now.

Statistics always use 65 as a benchmark to categorize the elderly eg. demographic statistics of  the elderly aged 65 and above or health statistics like " young onset dementia in a patients aged 65 and below". So it doesn't help that I will be hitting the official benchmark of being a senior citizen.

The strange thing though is we usually perceive ourselves as younger and are thus surprised at our image in the mirror. My mind's stagnated image of myself is 'me' in my forties. I must however qualify that this feeling of being younger only happens when I am free of physical ailments. A research has shown that people generally feel on average 16-17 years younger than they really were.

In a report featured in Lianhe Zaobao on 5 Feb 2017, Dr Feng Qiushi of NUS highlighted Singaporeans' view on "Successful Aging" as compared to those of other countries, reflecting how the views vary by culture:

"Researchers found out that solo-living elders in Hong Kong tended to highlight filial piety of children in their perceptions of successful aging; Ogimi villagers in Japan considered the traditional weaving as one means towards successful aging; in Korea, many elders take the success of their children as the marker of their successful aging."

Hmm...somewhat skewed I think. The Singaporean view I think is more balanced which is :
"Singapore elderly people wish for healthy, happy and independent lives, and meanwhile are eager for love from children, care from family and respect from society. " (Follow this link for the full text of the report  http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/cfpr/media/images/lhzbcolumn/2017/Feb17E.pdf ).

As for me, while habitually twitching my fringe to hide the parallel lines above my nose despite the constant inner voice to be zen about it, my true Chinese New Year wish is to remain healthy so that I can always feel younger than my real age.

Predictions

The first thing to do on the morning of every Lunar New Year is to visit the temple where my father in law is laid to rest in the columbarium within its premise. At the main temple where one pays respect to the Buddha there is a collection box. Next to the collection box is a large shallow tray filled with small neatly folded pink packets consisting 2 ten cents coins. Each of these packets has on it 1 to 4 Chinese characters written in black ink. The little pink packets are arranged like a mandala in the tray standing sideway such that the words are not visible. Visitors can pick any one of the packets randomly. The words written on the selected packet is supposed to tell your situation in life for the coming year, very much like the fortune cookies. Apparently from past experience of visitors the predictions are quite accurate.

The predictions have so far seemed fairly accurate for me and my husband. For instance one year my husband was inundated with scam calls from the US arising from his showing some interest in certain investments. The wordings on his selected pink packet cautioned against false advice from outsiders. In another year when I was constantly encouraging him to join me for Buddhist studies, the wordings in his packet suggested that he learned the dharma. A few years ago I picked one with a single word "ren 忍 "  meaning to endure or tolerate. That year I really had to put up with a lot of emotional roller coasting projected onto me from someone close. Once I saw the words 快乐  on the packet picked by a little boy. What else is life for a small boy but to be happy of course.

This year I was shocked to see the words 智慧  (wisdom) on the packet that I picked. I am quietly pleased but still puzzled how that can come about. To have 智慧   is one of the goals of a Buddhist because with wisdom one can navigate the challenges in life and able to achieve equanimity. I am aspiring towards it but know fully well I am no way near it, in fact very very long way to go. Yet this prediction is like some positive psychology, like I should really try to live up to it in some small semblance at least. The fact that I will be starting classes very soon under a very gifted teacher who is always able to explain the sutra in such clarity is promising. Yet I am still far from confident because to have wisdom is not only to have the knowledge , it is a lot to do with being able to practice it ie. to walk the talk.

May this prediction be true even in some small ways.