A Flower and a speck of dust

My friend whatsapp a photo taken at Gardens by the Bay which is celebrating the Cherry Blossom festival. I pulled out my photo taken at the same place a week ago and sent to the chat group. I was so tickled by the contrast. Both pictures have the beautiful cherry blossom trees as the backgroud, but one lady spent time to adorn herself to blend with the scene while the other woman did injustice to the beauty of the garden with her shabby outfit. My husband described the contrast as "An aunty vs a princess".

My friend wore a red cheongsam collared Chinese blouse draped with a flowery pink silk shawl complete with a straw hat topped with pink and red flowers. She looked really gorgeous against the dense cherry blossom trees. I wore a loose T shirt draped with an ill matching cheap looking shawl, a pair of ill fitting knee length pants and sports shoes. I was even holding a small shopping bag.

We had a good laugh. I told her she did the organisers proud and worth their effort.  Another friend suggested that she sent her photo to GBTB. In contrast I was disrespectful to the venue and the beautiful flowers. In jest she replied she was vain and took the trouble to dress up for taking nice photos. To be fair my visit was at the spur of the moment when my husband miraculously agreed to go with me. Now that is just an excuse.

My friend's behaviour reminds me of IKIGAI, a Japanese word which essentially means ' a reason for living' or 'value in being'. It is living with an intention in even the most mundane task. The 'reason' in living encompasses finding worth in each task.

This is quite typical of my friend's behaviour. She is never in a rush and is always very present as if deliberately slowing down to live each moment. I always feel very relaxed in her presencce.

On reflecting the GBTB visits, I am quite positive she took more out of the experience than I had. Not only that she honours the effort of the organisers. She celebrates with them. If the flowers have a soul (and who knows ) they will remember her as one who was with them, while I was a just a speck of floating dust.

A new beginning ?

Had it not been for the Covid 19 outbreak my husband and I would probably be either travelling or at least preparing or planning for a trip. Facebook reminds me I was in Japan a year ago. Now that I am stuck at home with all activities suspended I begin to wonder how my mum spent her retirement.

Other than an occasional trip with my aunties on package tours to China, she pretty much stayed at home with my father, especially after she found it difficult to step onto a public bus. Newspaper and TV were the only source of media and entertainment. I do remember she spent a lot of time on the telephone (using direct home line) with my aunties, friends and children. Though my mum was a good conversationalist I still wonder what she and my aunties talked about over the phone so often.

Trend forecaster Li Edelkoort says the Coronavirus epidemic offers " a blank page for a new beginning" that will allow the world "to reset its values" following a deep recession. As the epidemic disrupts supply line and inhibits transportation and travel, people will learn to live with consuming less. She calls it a "consumption quarantine". She remarked that the air above China is evidently cleaner with the two month suspension of production and people will learn to appreciate that.

I feel that for people to appreciate a different lifestyle apart from travel and indulging in consumption choices the disruption has to be very prolonged. Only then will people embrace a new way of living. Forced into social distancing and being holed up at home for a long period of time, people will have to resort to spending time with family members, trying new recipe, playing  music, reading, writing, gardening, being with nature and soul searching, basically a bit back to basics and self introspection.

When people discover and get used to a fuller and freer way of life, a 'post consumerism' world may emerge where addictive consumerism and high speed existence is no longer appealing. I have often wondered about an alternative to the growth economy model which our world functions on.

A wishful Utopian Dream? Maybe not. A phoenix may rise from the ashes.

Behind the toilet paper fiasco

With the Covid 19 virus outbreak spreading around the world, one common phenomena is the rush to stock up toilet paper. It is reported that toilet rolls are flying off the shelves in many countries.

I thought it rather irrational but on further thought hoarding toilet paper can be some form of emotional projection. Maybe it is a psychological defence mechanism, an essential item to wipe away something abhorrent, detested and threatening. My husband goes a step further. He thinks more toilet paper is needed because of the constant emotional urge to pass out unwanted and unwelcomed material.

Both of us are probably too imaginative. From a practical point of view, toilet paper unlike other essentials has no substitutes. A psychologist opines that making sure there is sufficient toilet paper gives people a sense of control. It addresses the feeling of helplessness in times of threat and uncertainty. Another professor thinks that people are so accustomed to wide consumer choices that the thought of scarcity derails them.

To try and understand more deeply such behaviour, I imagine what I will do if I really run out of toilet paper. Yes it will be inconvenient but certainly won't be catastrophic. as long as we still have newspaper and water supply that is. It really boils down to deviating from habitual practices of modern living. Perhaps then toilet paper is a necessary symbol of 'life as usual' and any disruption of toilet habits can be nerve racking. People have to cling to it as a minimum standard of normalcy.

Well, an Australian newspaper has reserved 8 pages of print with perforated toilet paper for their readers!

"Asshole effect"

My husband and I are members of a country club. He swims there regularly after work and there is a handful of middle aged guys and retirees who swim there daily. It happened that the swimming pool's filter system needs a major overhaul and the club takes the opportunity to refurbish the pool which meant a 2 month closure. Meanwhile the club has arranged for members to make use of a public swimming pool in the neighbourhood free of charge ie. no entrance fees need payable.

Yesterday my husband related a conversation overheard at the steam room in the gent's toilet. The regular group was complaining about having to swim at a public pool AND having to pay parking fees at the public car park. When I heard this I couldn't help but laugh aloud at how ludicrous these people are. Quite a few drive Mercedes and BMW and they complain about parking fees at the public car park! The government should just introduce a wealth tax to shake them up.

Paul Piff, a US psychologist calls it the "asshole effect" after researching on the effect of wealth on attitudes. His findings indicate that wealthy people tend to be mean, entitled and narcissistic.

I have already noticed this 'entitlement mentality' among students in our elite schools and scholarship holders, partly because they are made to feel special. I think the elite in our society feel their success stems from their own intelligence and hardwork and thus should be awarded more privileges than those who are lacking. Our economic achievement as a nation and a society which lauds competitive meritocracy has heightened a sense of entitlement especially for those who have so called 'arrived'. Our wages are market driven and does not reflect social value. "The market price argument explains inequality through the argument that pay is equal to productivity." Money and status thus breed an entitlement mentality.

Just yesterday my husband complained about a pay cut in salary and bonus announced by the company amid the covid 19 crisis. To put him in proper perspective, I retorted that many people's job are at stake or are asked to take no pay leave, not to mention taxi and grab drivers whose livelihood is threatened.

Well, Paul Piff in his research also found that when shown images of children in poverty, the wealthy could behave more empathetically.

There is Hope yet, I guess.

Waves of one sea

The Covid 19 virus outbreak has shown the world how immeasurably connected we are. The global system is at risk in so many aspects.

Apart from Wuhan putting 46 million people on lockdown, about 3700 passengers on board a cruise ship had to be quarantined for 2 weeks after one former passenger who alighted in Hong Kong was found to have the virus. More than 600 passengers have tested positive so far.

This outbreak could lead to US$5 billion in airline losses globally . Chinese tourists alone made nearly 150 million trips abroad and their spending overseas amounts to US$130 billion. Imagine an outbreak among a few people at the animal market in Wuhan has now affected the livelihood of millions around the world who depend on tourism, including the peddler who sells souvenirs outside a Thai temple frequented by tourists.

Shopkeepers, restaurant operators, grab and taxi drivers are struggling to stay afloat. One can imagine the domino effect when consumer spending drops drastically. Job losses seem inevitable without government support.

The global supply chain is at risk highlighting the reliance on China for parts and assembly. Companies around the world including Apple and Nissan are affected with some suspending production temporarily. An estimated 80% of all active pharmaceutical ingredients, the raw materials for drugs, are produced in China and India according to a senior advisor at Hasting Centre. "They include compounds used to treat everything from bacterial infection and cancer to heart disease and diabetes". With closed factories in China the inventory is running short and according to the University of Minnesota the issue is acute.

International education and related services was Australia's third largest export after coal and iron ore. Travel restrictions could cut A$6 to $8 billion for the first half of the year in a worst case scenario. Restaurants and beauty salons around RMIT university and Box Hill in Melbourne which are normally buzzing are now empty.

The above highlight the seamless boundaries in today's world and our inter dependence and connectedness.


"We are all the leaves of one tree
  We are all the waves of one sea"
Thich Nhat Hanh

Inundated !

Life's routine is disrupted when Singapore raised the 2019 nCov alert to Orange. Day after day I received messages about classes and activities being suspended be it fitness class or Buddhist class. Volunteer activities also grind to a halt. Normally 4 days in a week I have either a class or engagement. For once I am really experiencing 'free' time. Fear imposes further self restriction on hairdressing, body massage and shopping. Of course now is the time to catch up on reading and meditation but that requires some discipline.

It does not help when all the WhatsApp chat groups keep forwarding all kinds of health advice and new info on the nature of the virus and the status of its outbreak everywhere. For once I thought of watching a movie in the afternoon. So I streamed the Oscar Best Picture "Parasite". What an engaging movie, but instead of lifting my spirits it made me feel more gloomy. I felt kind of sad after the show because it imparts a sense of hopelessness for the underprivileged. My son who had watched the movie was surprised that I walked away feeling sad.

This brought to mind an article in the papers today on how fear distorts our thinking and the impact of emotion on perception and decision making. Was my interpretation of the film affected by the gloom and doom that seems to be around us ie. an 'emotion induced bias'?

Just as I am writing I received another message , an open letter signed by 4 doctors urging Singaporeans to wear a mask at all times when going out and to refrain from social mingling. The Ministry responded that washing hands is the best solution instead.

Wow I am inundated. Should I just stream a comedy to watch now or try to meditate? 

Yearly Reminder

Chinese New Year though troublesome is also really quite meaningful. That's always how I feel only  after the event.

Thinking about it days or weeks before the festive season often makes me moody because of the self imposed list of spring cleaning tasks; as well as the struggle to store all the food ingredients in the fridge. It feels even
more of a headache when by rotation it is our turn to host my husband's group of JC friends and wives.

There is a routine schedule which our families and friends adhere to year after year, eg meeting his side of the family, my side of the family, his friends, my uncles and aunts etc. There is some feeling of dread when you imagine having to answer questions about whether the kids have partners or  when they are tying the knot, as if I am responsible for their lives.

That aside however, there are also many interesting people to catch up with. Without fail, a nephew who is a police entertains with cases he is investigating and my brother in law back for CNY with his family shares about polarisation, real estate, economy, cultural habits in US. I am also never tired of getting my Hong Kong resident uncle and wife recount over and over again their life journey covering their childhood in Singapore, the hardship endured during the Cultural Revolution in China where they foolishly chose to emigrate to as youths; and their early struggles in Hong Kong when they managed to get approval to leave China at middle age.

At CNY gatherings, the young engage with stories on challenges in career building and raising children.  Hearing them I am relieved I have passed that stage in life. On the other hand sharing health problems with peers and talking to frail and sickly elderly relatives tell me to be mentally prepared for the inevitable weakening of body and mind. The woes of my ailing aunts and uncles sit at one end of the spectrum balanced on the other end by the animated pranks of the toddlers in the family, while in between lie varying degree of jadedness and enthusiasm among relatives of different generations.

Such then is the life passage, Chinese New Year serves as a yearly reminder.