'Not Me"

 

"Once we believe that 'me' is separate from 'my experience' that 'me' is a solid entity to whom things happen, rather than a fluid part of the unending action, we have to start thinking about defending this isolated 'me' against the objects we encounter. Thus we need some basic strategies for survival, we have to start pursuing objects that make 'me' feel safe and happy, destroying objects that make 'me' feel threatened and ignoring all other objects of experience, because the first two take up all our time of experience"- Ethan Nichtern

"A human being is a part of the whole, called by us Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest-a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole nature in its beauty."-                               Albert Einstein

I shall try my best.

Be it God or the Divine Universe

 

On this Christmas day it would seem blasphemous to be reading about Einstein, Freud and Spinoza's belief about God. Basically Einstein and Spinoza do not consider God to be a personal figure but more like a cosmic deity. I am currently reading a book entitled "The Reason for Life" by Waltenegus Dargie. The book explores the beliefs of Freud, Einstein, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky on the significance of God and the purpose of human life.

From the book I learnt a new word 'Pantheism' which is the concept that the physical universe is the immanent deity. I kind of orientate towards this theory.

I have just started reading and in no considered order have found the following statements bearing some truths:

Freud maintains the claims of religion are essentially the product of psychic externalisation. Human beings have affinity for religion because either they are fearful of life or yearn to be unified with the world.

Einstein calls the scientific longing to unravel the mystery of creation and thereby experience God, a cosmic religious feeling... Persons who are induced by a cosmic religious feeling seek God dispassionately with no wish for a reward or gain. A god who rewards and punishes human actions in inconceivable to them.....He maintains that the primary reason for a religion based on a personal God is existential fear.

I sometimes think it doesn't really matter whether it is the divine universe or the personal God. At moments when you feel the Love or some mystical wonder you have a momentary glimpse of the truth.

Does sufferings make you stronger?

 

In an article in the ST on 1 Dec 2023 "Some Suffering is just suffering, It does not make you stronger", Prof Chong Siow Ann thinks that some traumatic experiences make it difficult for people to "rebuild" themselves into "better human beings". He contends that he could not have fully comprehended the enormous sufferings and anguish of certain of his patients like those who have killed or caused the deaths of their closed ones in moments of delusion or mental incapacity. He also alluded to the immense hellish sufferings of war raining on civilians like the Israel/Palestinian crisis. 

It is widely accepted that post traumatic growth is possible among sufferers who "recast their lives in the most positive ways and extracts new meanings." Prof Chong quoted Victor Frankl who opined that the prisoners of the holocaust who held on to the future and found meaning in life survived less scarred. Prof Chong himself has witnessed that in some of his own patients. 

However he went on to say that not all people can muster enough energy and will to forge this transformation. Here Prof Chong quoted Paul Bloom a Yale developmental psychologist who casts doubt on the prevalence of post traumatic growth calling it the "myth of redemptive suffering". In fact this "myth" may have been a double whammy for sufferers who are expected to recover and come out stronger.

Prof Chong reckoned that people are unique and it isn't fair to impose on his patients this preconceived notion of redemptive suffering. Indeed sometimes he finds it hard to tell his patients who have been through horrendous losses that they could find something positive in their suffering. "Occasionally, their suffering compounded my sense of helplessness and made me wish, like a coward, that I wouldn't have to see them", was how he described his helplessness and how he then lends a listening ear while conveying to them that he too feels their pain.

I think many counsellors like me can relate (be it of milder intensity) when Prof Chong describes how he sometimes finds it difficult to tell his patients to think positive as he himself does not bear that conviction. Sometimes I do feel like a fake when encouraging my counselees to think positive , doubting whether I myself can do so when put in similar dire circumstances. However like how Prof Chong describes it, I think most of them do find some catharsis and relief when they walk out knowing someone feels their pain. 

Probably some statements of redemptive growth will dawn on them when healing takes place over time.