Of Human Connection

 

" Will I see you again?" She asked before she left

I was taken aback. Most of these kids who come for the Children Caught in Between workshops are compelled to do so by the court arising from acrimonious divorces . In order words it is mandatory and not through the parents' initiative. Hence many would be out of the door immediately after the third and final session.

She is 15 years old, a year older than the 14 yr age limit for the workshop that I was conducting. For some reasons she had delayed one year. As the other participant did not turn up I had 3 one to one sessions with this teenager, to impart some ways to help her cope with her feelings and predicament.

The workshop is conducted according to guidelines set by the ministry. Some prescribed videos have to be played and a workbook has to be completed. As these material was meant for children between the age of 11 to 14, it can be quite simplistic. When I first saw her walked into the room I was a bit apprehensive that I could sustain her attention. Tall and sporty looking she seemed too mature to be willing to do the exercises in the workbook. 

Yet over just 3 two hourly sessions we seem to develop some bonding. It was a good thing that for this workshop there was only 2 participants and one dropped out. At such I could engage with her like I would a 15 year old teenager. We talked about her pain and how she felt responsible to protect her younger siblings as well. We talked about emotional boundaries at a more matured level. To my surprise some of the misbeliefs that children have about their parents' divorce also apply to teenagers as well.

Running these CIBC workshops can be quite taxing. With the workshop for younger children 6 to 10 yrs it is a lot of trying to get them to understand the material while trying hard to retain their attention. For the older group (11 to 14 yrs) there may be quite a fair bit of resistance ie, some just come to mark time. However the most draining part emotionally is hearing from both groups how sad, angry and confused they feel. 

She is the second participant who has asked at the end of the workshop whether they would ever meet me again. The first was a little boy who said "You mean I won't see you again!" . Each time I felt a tuck in my heart.

" I don't think so" I replied quietly to the teenage girl; and then spontaneously "But maybe, who knows". In my mind I was thinking about how sometimes destiny makes 2 people meet.

Sometimes, fate brings people together to remind them of the beauty and joy of human connections-unknown

The New President

 

Singapore has elected a new president among 3 candidates. Tharman who had held several top ministerial/ government posts resigned from PAP, the ruling party, to run for election. He won 70.4 % of the votes, a huge endorsement by the people.

I must say I am quite surprised as I was expecting him to win a shade above 50%. What I learn from my misjudgement is the tendency to mistake a few dissident voices in social media to be representative of a big segment of the masses. Of course I also gathered ad hoc views from various groups of people I know of. This taught me a lesson that bad sampling can deliver very incorrect predictions.

My incorrect instinctive prediction is also exacerbated by my perception that people will not vote for him for fear of sending the wrong message that they are endorsing the ruling party. As in any General Election the ruling party always inevitably lose 40 % of the votes, hence 60% seems to be the ceiling. I was also hearing lots of grouses against the lack of independence in a candidate put forward by the ruling party. There were also calls to support the other 2 candidates as protest votes against the whole mockery of the presidential constitution which allows for reserved presidency elections. Their thinking was to elect a clown as a tit for tat for an absurd system.

Well I voted for Tharman because I believe he can be independent and objective when called for. Don't forget he was a student activist in his younger days and during the 1987 Marxist conspiracy, he was questioned by the ISD for a week! I believe his moral belief for fairness and equitability remains in him.

At the end of the day I believe it was the Tharman factor based on his personality, experience and outlook which won him an overwhelming majority. I wish the PAP does not think arrogantly that people are endorsing their governance and I hope Tharman will live up to our expectations of him; and stand his grounds when needed.

PS- One other thing I like about him is his cat loving ways lol