Impactful message from Shtisel

 

This blog entry must be read with my previous blog. The last episode of season 2 of Shtisel is to me very impactful and delivers a powerful universal message. 

So in the story, the artist son of the Orthodox Jewish family, Akiva, painted a picture of a young mother carrying a baby. The painting was a success and the gallery owner arranged a TV interview prior to his exhibition. When asked on air, Akiva said it was from memory of his deceased mother. Back home his father in a rage hit him for disgracing the family in exhibiting his mother in public. This was because the lady in the painting did not cover her hair totally as was expected of married Orthodox Jewish women. Akiva was flabbergasted because the lady in the painting was not a portrait of his mother at all but just his expression of her. Akiva refused to abide by his father's instruction to withdraw the painting from the exhibition.

Perhaps like most other viewers, I was angry with the father for his unreasonableness. However the father related an incident when Akiva's mother cried throughout the night when she discovered she accidentally left a bit of her hair uncovered when attending a family function. The father's love and respect for his wife was touching and heart wrenching.

The father then bought the painting from the gallery at a high price after selling the reserved plot of land where he would be laid next to his wife. At home he held a candle deliberating whether to burn the painting. After much agony he used some paint to cover the bit of hair of the lady in the painting instead.

I will always keep this scene in my memory. Hopefully it will remind me to be more understanding in my dealings with people and not to judge so easily. The way someone thinks and behaves is shaped and conditioned by so many factors, be it in the upbringing, education and past experiences. I must also remember it is hard to rewire a person's character and world view. A valuable lesson learnt from Akiva's father is his willingness to strike a compromise taking into consideration his son's feelings.

"Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes"- Eminem

Live for Yourself?

 

I am now watching a popular Israeli TV drama 'Shtisel'. It centers around an ultra orthodox Jewish family and revolves around each individual member's struggle to conform to rigid religious and cultural norms. It has universal themes about loss, love, the dilemma between individual freedom and adherence to tradition; and personal growth versus pro family priorities.

In one episode the grandson brought a dog to the patriarch's house. He was kicked out of school for rescuing a puppy and bringing it to school. I did a google search which says many orthodox Jews frown upon keeping dogs as pets as they are deemed to be unclean. It also says that their culture views keeping dogs as a distraction from having more children (though this needs some fact checking).

Meanwhile there is breaking news about China's population falling for the first time since 1961. Another report shows East Asia's worrying low fertility rate, South Korea 1.1, Japan 1.4 and China 1.7 (Singapore 1.2). 

Reflecting on the pro family emphasis and misogynistic tendencies in the Jewish Orthodox culture or even in other religious tribes that encourage early marriage and big families, I begin to think that these cultures may be quite far sighted or visionary in that they could foresee the secular and liberal forces that threaten human procreation.

However, the dilemma and agony portrayed by some characters in the Shtisel story reminds me that individual growth and freedom is also paramount for personal fulfilment and happiness. Sometimes I relate to their experience when I feel weary of all responsibilities and dream of living alone in a faraway place, spending time being myself or trying to discover myself. Yet I cannot deny I also derive joy from being part of a family or community.

Like in everything, I guess a balance needs to be struck between individuality and community. I see no happy ending to a society that embraces a 'Live for yourself' attitude, neither is there one for a society that lives by rigid laws and practices that stifles the 'self'.

When they were ALIVE

 

A week ago the internet was rife with the fake news that Chow Yuen Fatt has passed away. When I heard it from my sister I felt rather sad. CYF is around my age. When Hong Kong TV drama was the family entertainment in the late 70s and 80s CYF starred in many of the popular TV serials and became a household name. His absence if true felt like a void, a passing of an era which I belong. Thankfully it was fake news.

However a few days ago when my husband said Sim Mong Hoo passed away, I rebuked him for not verifying before breaking such news. Unfortunately it turned out to be true. SMH was also around my age and was someone whom baby boomers in Singapore looked up to as someone who persistently and ardently pursued his dreams and achieved his goals. We admire him because he did not achieve success through the charted or silo path that most Singaporeans aimed for ie. excellent academic performance or government scholarship to launch into a successful career.

In remembrance of him, CNA ran a short story of his career trajectory. One scene that struck me was when he introduced his latest device/product to Heng Swee Kiat. He was so alive! so full of enthusiasm. Reading more about him I became convinced that he led a very full life.

Thinking about the fake and true passing of two well known people my age and reflecting on how these 2 characters lived well ie. lived the life they were meant to be, I began to mull over how I want to live my life.

Last Friday I had the occasion to be reminded of moments when I really felt joyful. I told a story about "The Little Troll" to children at the library. I had told this story some 20 years ago to an entranced audience of more than 20 children. It was an experience I would never forget. I was to experience that magic moment again last Friday. The children were thrilled and ALIVE. 

So WAS I.