Sunday, May 30, 2021

My perspective from my window


Came across an article in Rice where the writer asked 10 people to share a view from a window they often look out of and what's on their mind since the introduction of Phase 2 restrictions. Apart from sharing how they pass time indoors many expressed anxieties and disappointment especially when things were beginning to look good prior to that. There is longing for home visits (for foreigners trapped here) and missing out on socialising with friends. Amidst all these you can sense a tinge of resignation with not knowing when there will be another flare up and when life can resume some normality. There is a lot of inner reflection too. 

For me I am blessed with a view that looks at my mango tree from the dining table where I usually work or do my reading. We planted this tree 2 decades ago and I have never treasured it more than the past year when cooped up at home. Nowadays when I read the newspaper with page after page of endless tragedies (Covid catastrophe in India, political violence in Myanmar and Palestine and destruction of animal life and nature from raging climate change) heaviness sets in the heart inevitably. For relief I look up at my mango tree, its refreshing green leaves spreading out from a solid brown trunk. It radiates an ambience of stability, a sense of  "suchness". 

With volunteer work and fitness classes all suspended and self isolation from hairdresser, facial/body masseur, weekly routine seems to evolve around household chores which makes them seem more monotonous and tedious. When boredom and listlessness set in, the mind reflects on life's purpose. 

In normal times, working with children and travelling add sparks to life and excite my senses. Now I ask myself while looking at the tree, 'Is life only worth living when one's senses are filled ?' 'How then will one live when age catches up, restricting physical activities and confining one to live with oneself most of the time?'

I do not yet know their answers. I go out and touch the tree, resting both hands on the trunk for awhile. Its quiet assurance gives me hope one day I will find the way.


 

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Wedding in times of pandemic

 

What makes a wedding in times of pandemic memorable in Singapore? A tree in the garden and a pet cat.

My daughter's wedding lunch scheduled in early June had to be postponed when the government introduced stricter movement controls in mid May. The traditional wedding ceremony scheduled on the same day was in limbo because under the new restrictions only 2 persons can visit a household in one day and outdoor gathering limited to 2. Well, at least it is not a total lockdown. 

The dilemma then is whether to postpone the traditional ceremony as well. Usually a traditional Chinese wedding ceremony would include the groom going to the bride's house with his groom men to fetch the bride. At the bride's house a bevy of bridesmaid will put them to some challenges (games). Also there is a tea serving ceremony for the parents, uncles and aunts by the couple. 

We were therefore thrown in a dilemma whether to hold a quiet ceremony. Well after the decision was made to go ahead our family decided to bring forward the ceremony to last weekend, just to avoid the sudden announcement of a total lockdown which would render even a quiet ceremony impossible. 

As the decision was made just a couple of days before the forwarded new date, we had to act fast. A 2-person visit restriction means the groom can only come with the photographer. A search was on for one while the boutique was rushed to deliver the bridal gown. Thankfully the fitting was already done. Then there was the rush to purchase items required for the ceremony and the sprucing up of the home and the putting up of decorations with auspicious connotations. 

Well, we made it and surprising enough it was really quite fun. Kept within the family and without friends and relatives hovering around we were relaxed and created plenty of private jokes without abandon. The fact is I, the mother-in-law had to multi task including taking on the role of the bridesmaid to think of fun challenges for the groom ( a usual game played by bridesmaid to tease the groom into doing slapstick gimmicks before allowing him to enter into the bride's room). Well, this MIL has way lost such playful creativity and instead challenged the groom to come up with witty answers for some talking points. Fortunately my son-in-law has humour in abundance and provided slapstick accompaniment which made my tears rolled. 

As the photographer can only take pictures within our home, we initially were worried how many spots of the living room (the only place nicely done up) can be taken. Amazing enough the photographer found spots in the garden and even the messy backyard which could provide good backdrop. The weather was kind too. So we took 80% of photos under the mango tree from various angles. Even the overgrown and bushy curry leaf tree at our messy backyard provided a beautiful green backdrop for the wedding couple in their fineries. I now understand that professional photographers have a third eye, one that is able to pick the good among the mundane and unsightly to bring out the best in others.

If you ask me what was the best shot of the day, hands down it's with our my pet cat. I managed to hold on to her to get a shot with the couple. It turned out to be the best shot. We were all sitting casually on the dining room floor (the wedding couple in their fineries), me laughing, my daughter stroking the cat on one side of me and my son-in-law looking on with affection on the other. The cat was staring at him as if asking "who are you anyway?" I just love this picture, would not have been possible if there was a crowd at home.

So a big thank you to the mango tree and my pet cat. They provided huge support for a memorable day! A wedding in times of a pandemic.

Wednesday, May 19, 2021

The 'Oh Wow' aunty

 We depend on my husband when the family wants to take a group selfie. He has a selfie stick bought in a London 'Value' shop for 3 pounds. Its functionality is very dicey often disappointing us at the crucial moments when we were all smiles. 

So I decided to get a proper one. The staff at the Challenger store which I went to showed me the shelf with a whole array of selfie sticks. All of them are wireless and she could not find any with a cable ( to be attached to the phone) which is close to the one which my husband is familiar with. 

With a bit of unease (which I often have when trying to master any new device) I requested her to show me how to use it. In the process of doing so she couldn't help laughing because I was so impressed with repeated exclamations of "Oh Wow". It uses blue tooth technology.

Staff: "The shutter button is detachable, try pressing on it,"---  I clicked and "Oh Wow, so I can hold the stick and another person can click the button"

Staff: "There is a LED light here" ---- "Ohh..."

Staff:" You can use it as a tripod too" --- "Oh Wow, perfect"

She must be thinking to herself "Oh Wow this aunty is so out of date and so easily thrilled!"

Back home I tried my new toy taking numerous selfies with my arrogant cat which seems to  understand and clearly dislikes photo taking. "OH WOW, what fun we (or rather I) have.

I begin to understand why people love the latest gadgets. They give you thrill when you first lay hands on them like touching magic buttons. I did a search. They called them the 'Insanely Cool Gadgets'. Here are some that interest me:

A wireless charger

A lightsaber umbrella

A PhoneSoap UV sanitizer you can toss your phone for 10 minutes after you get home

A motions sensor trash can which opens smoothly and quietly with a wave of the hand

A smart bottle attachment that tracks when you take a sip of water and remind you to drink more by blinking before dehydration kicks in.

Perhaps I can get this for a start, the lightsaber umbrella









Monday, May 10, 2021

Breath before taking umbrage

 Recently in Singapore the word 'umbrage' was the top search word in Google. It arose from a comment made by the CEO of SPH who used the word while losing his cool at a press conference. The video of Ng Yat Chung pointing his finger, raising his voice and saying "I take umbrage at that comment " became viral and perpetuated tons of jokes, criticisms, mean comments against him and even petition for his dismissal.

Well, this guy was a Lieutenant General before he left his military career to become CEO of 2 sinking companies. I must admit I was no saint and partook in the joy of sharing cruel jokes about him just to assuage my pain in losing money on SPH shares.  

Later when the meanness of netizens seem overboard  I imagined how this poor guy will feel now that he has become the country's number one laughing stock. To be fair to him he was sent to manage a sinking ship and a sunset company with no corporate experience whatsoever. Still my son said he could have declined or retired if he knew he could not contribute. He has the financial means from his past income as an outstanding military man for more than 2 decades. But again given that he had been the chief of Army, how could he burst his ego and bring himself to declare that he was incapable of running a company.

I feel that there is a lot of projections going on and he is a juicy target. During this pandemic the mental well being of many netizens has suffered. There is fear, anxiety, sadness, anger and general unhappiness/dissatisfaction. NYC's boorish manner towards a young journalist provided a valid reason for people to vent their hatred and anger on him without feeling guilty or mean. For some he created some merriment which people have been deprived of for quite awhile. Moreover he is viewed as an elitist who had assumed top positions just by virtue of being a government scholar on a charted path. People's general unhappiness over the great divide in pay between CEOs/Ministers/top civil servants and the man in the street now finds a good target to lash out. People's disillusionment with the  meritocratic system upon which our society has been built heightens when one of these so called 'talent' fails miserably. To them NYC represents the elites  and stands in as a good punch bag accentuated by his elitist arrogance.

Sad it may be for him, he does provide a good reminder to people that one must always try to be aware of one's emotions before reacting. Breath, step back, think before taking umbrage.