A True Home

A speaker at a webinar about investing during pandemic thinks that going forward people may place more importance in owning a home that provides comfort. This may include factors like a conducive place for work, proximity to essential services, a place to rest and hibernate for prolonged period (she mentioned a balcony in the least) and closeness to nature.

While daydreaming one day I thought about how I missed traveling. I examined the withdrawal symptom and asked where I really wanted to be that very moment. Turned out it wasn't somewhere in scenic China, nor having a quaint and architectural experience in Europe nor being awed by the vibrancy of a mega city. Given a choice I wished I were somewhere in a remote part of Indonesia or Vietnam, sitting in the balcony of a rustic small resort overlooking muddy fields while a distant old motorcycle occasionally drones past along the dirt road.

The speaker at the webinar makes me really think about Singapore, this clean, convenient, efficient and safe city. Where in this city would I find a rustic home where I can really rest and feel truly comfortable.? I must admit I am already blessed with a home that has a small garden. During this lockdown period I have spent much time sprucing up the garden and now meditate facing the mango tree. It is as close as I can get to that quiet world I am dreaming of.

In the words of Serene Lim of Today:

 "Singapore’s size and, consequently, high-density population amplify what I want to get away from the most: The intense pace of life here, where it feels like everyone’s rushing for something — the next appointment, the latest food fad (is it back to ramen again?), to cash in on the property downturn, register our child at a popular kindergarten, book a ride on both Uber and GrabCar to see which comes first because we simply don’t want to wait ... I don’t know what exactly we’re rushing for; maybe we’re just chasing our tails, but it’s hard to ignore with “kancheong” bosses on our backs and anxious parents to answer to. When this feels like it’s everywhere, we have nowhere else to go to except the airport".....

"Getting out of Singapore is a chance to step out of the system, even if it’s just temporarily. Life is more colourful overseas because things are not as efficient, things are messy, things are dirty, things are different. And you realise that’s absolutely okay. People get by very well — happier and freer, more at ease and at peace sometimes"

Romanticizing rural life? Perhaps, but staying in a rustic slow paced town lets me open my mind a bit more to what I truly need in life. Maybe a second home is the True Home.

An attempt in Rekindling lost Intuition

"Still there are moments when one feels free from one's own identification with human limitations and inadequacies. At such moments, one imagines that one stands on some spot of a small planet, gazing in amazement at the cold yet profoundly moving beauty of the eternal; the unfathomable life and death flow into one, and there is neither evolution nor destiny, only being"- Albert Einstein

Reading the above my memories jolted me to my much younger self, when I was an adolescent and young adult. I remember I wrote in my diary about experiencing occasional moments of "just being" which spurred me on to read literature that shed light on it. I remember reading Toltstoy, Rabindranath Tagore and Bertrand Russell to search their views on life and religion. Along the way however, this metaphysical quest fizzled out and any remaining ember extinguished once I pursued a finance qualification and career.

During this commitment free lockdown period I availed myself to exploring Ajahn Sumedho's words on intuitive awareness. His suggests that consciousness or awareness is not personal ie, not within our brain or body but that our body and mind is within this consciousness and for that matter everyone of us and even the universe is within this same consciousness. This aligns with Einstein calling it man's optical delusion of his consciousness when man experiences himself as something separate from the rest. In my need to understand a bit more of where Einstein is coming from I tried to read up a bit on his theory of general relativity which I believe leads him to the above opinion. However, it is almost impossible for me to comprehend. So I turned to a e-book "Albert Einstein and Relativity for Kids" to try and understand a bit and this is what I learn for the time being.

"Time is relative ie. time appeared to be different from 2 different frames of reference. As an object speeds up, its internal clock appears to slow down relative to an observer at rest"- This leads me to think about what Einstein said about "A human being is a part of the whole, called by us 'Universe', a part limited in time and space". I imagine our limited time in this life on planet earth as fleeting relative to something beyond this 'limited space', given how fast distant galaxies in the universe are moving relative to us.

Still this is a very hard subject for me to grasp and I am still in the dark where Einstein is coming from. However, Ajahn Sumedho has cautioned that awareness of this universal consciousness is an intuitive endeavour. I am just hoping to find some cinders of wisdom through a 2 pronged approach, from what a high IQ physicist is driving at and from a meditative perspective.

I guess this is an attempt to rekindle wisdom or intuition long lost.

Boredom

Watching "The Crown" on Netflix that tells the story of Queen Elizabeth not only helps me while away some evening hours but also spend time fact-checking on the authenticity of the storyline after each episode.  The vast material in the web about the British royal family is amazing and gossip columns are abundant.

Ajahn Sumedho once said "People get away from the boredom of their own existence, their discontent with it, the tediousness, by reading gossip about movie stars and public figures.....As soon as it (boredom) comes into mind we start looking for something interesting, something pleasant."

He contends that we never accept boredom as a conscious state ie. never accept it nor allow it.

I think for me when boredom sets in, my mind drifts into a state of lack or some want of purpose. For many , it is probably the fear of the inner unease questioning the meaning of existence. Hence people need to look for things to stimulate their minds out of boredom.

Ajahn Sumedho thinks that we have to allow ourselves to be fully conscious of this state of feeling. Just like in psychology and counselling we need to fully recognise and acknowledge our feelings in order for catharsis to take place. Sit still, do nothing and observe the boredom until it dissolves. Being present, the mind takes its natural course and will move on to focus on a creative activity instead of engaging in quick fixes and stimulants.

So, for me,  nothing beats gardening to be totally immersed in the moment. I can spend hours in the garden without realizing the passage of time. Another activity that helps me to be present and focused is sewing using the SINGER machine bequeathed by my mother. I never fail to admire this grand dame of more than half a century as it chugs along.



"Don't do any task in order to get it over with. Resolve to do each job in a relaxed way, with all your attention" - Thich Nhat Hanh

When bad habits come home to roost

Why do these 2 idioms  'bad things come home to roost' and 'harvest the seeds you sow' keep crossing my mind during this Covid pandemic ? World media has highlighted the cracks and shortfalls in healthcare and social welfare system worldwide as well as economic systems that focus on corporate profits at all costs.

Brain washed by the avalanche of such news, I also find similar situations on a personal level.

My childhood and early teens were spent in KL. In the 1960s and 70s, unlike the Singapore school system which provided dental care to school going children, parents in Malaysia had to monitor and spent their own money on the kid's dental healthcare . Many kids from low income families visited the dentists only when their teeth were decayed and caused excruciating pain. My visits to the dentists left behind frightful memories of painful injections and tooth extraction. By the time I entered the Singapore school system at 15, I had already lost 3 big molars. Beyond all rationality, the fear persisted well into adulthood and developed into a phobia. Despite knowing the importance of oral healthcare, I still do not visit the dentist except when there is a cavity or chip. Every such visit is met with disapproval and criticism from the dentist.

Now years of neglect have COME HOME TO ROOST and, of all time, must be during this pandemic. I started to develop painful gum and believe it is caused by the plaque accumulated around the teeth. Now the dilemma begins, to visit the dentist and risk exposure or stomach the risk and answer the painful pleas of the long abandoned teeth.

On a brighter note, I can also say I "harvest a seed I sow". When I decided to go without a helper 10 years ago, I told my husband I will cook dinner only 3 or 4 days a week. However that has developed into 5 or 6 days a week after extensive research on easy oven cooked meals and one pot meals etc. I can claim making huge progress in efficiency and kitchen productivity. This has proven truly useful during this Covid lockdown because grab food and take away is just impossible to stomach every other day of the week.

Yea on top of the above, there is also a lot of time for reflections and resolves; of what values most, what to do when things go back to normal and what not to miss.



Ganges River now deem fit for drinking!. Isn't this wonderful?