An Endearing Recall

My masseur is a Malaysian young lady from Perak. We usually engage in some small talk at the start of the body massage before I fall into deep relaxation.  She shared about her trip home during the CNY holidays and that her mother touched 4D (lottery). Her mum went to buy 4D after a quarrel started between her brother and his wife. I was puzzled. Firstly, why was her mum in the mood to buy 4D when family members were quarreling and what 4 digit number arose in her mind. My masseur laughed when I enquired about the later. "Just get the number from Tua Pek Kong (God of Prosperity), " she quipped. In a few moments I had a flashback of me as a child in Kuala Lumpur flipping through a little pink booklet with many little drawings, each drawing had a 3 digit number. Each page of the booklet had about 20 boxed drawings arranged in 4 rows.  The drawing in each box can be that of an object or an activity with descriptions in both Malay and Chinese words. So my masseur's mum must have looked for the picture depicting a quarrel to get the 'inspired' number to bet on. I remember being very amused by the exhaustive coverage of objects and activities or events including for example being chased by a dog, urinating and objects like songkok (Malay hat) and Dettol. This dictionary has 9,999 items and has been part of Malaysian life for generations. I understand that the latest version even has a number for nuclear bomb!

I then asked my masseur whether we can find a similar booklet in Singapore. She again laughed at my ignorance and replied in a matter of fact voice "上 网就有了" (available in the internet ). My brief research showed that one can download an App using android. However what is most amazing and true to Malaysian style, the Malaysian National Lottery , Magnum has on its website a sub heading called "Number Inspiration". Hitting the 4D Dictionary icon there is a search bar where you can type words  which will come up with many prompts, each with a number attached. For example when I type 'dog' an endless list of suggestions appears including: hitting a dog, pillow torn by dog, blind dog, dog eating poo, dog sleeping with cat, dead dog, stepping on dog poo and dog barking near a grave.

I had a good laugh and now recall why the book was so fascinating to me as a child flipping through it. That perhaps is one of many factors why Malaysia is still so endearing to me even after I have left 5 decades ago.

To Feel Young

Chinese New Year period always makes me reflect on aging, partly because of the unexpected aging faces of relatives I meet or the look in the eyes of people who presumably are surprised by how much I have aged. I myself am occasionally shocked by my own mirror image. "When did my eyes shrink in size amidst the puffy eyelids, my lips become so thin, my cheeks so sunken and my dark spots seem darker?" It didn't help when someone shared old photographs of my aunties when they were in their 60s. I must say I look older than them and I can see how my nieces and nephews view me now.

Statistics always use 65 as a benchmark to categorize the elderly eg. demographic statistics of  the elderly aged 65 and above or health statistics like " young onset dementia in a patients aged 65 and below". So it doesn't help that I will be hitting the official benchmark of being a senior citizen.

The strange thing though is we usually perceive ourselves as younger and are thus surprised at our image in the mirror. My mind's stagnated image of myself is 'me' in my forties. I must however qualify that this feeling of being younger only happens when I am free of physical ailments. A research has shown that people generally feel on average 16-17 years younger than they really were.

In a report featured in Lianhe Zaobao on 5 Feb 2017, Dr Feng Qiushi of NUS highlighted Singaporeans' view on "Successful Aging" as compared to those of other countries, reflecting how the views vary by culture:

"Researchers found out that solo-living elders in Hong Kong tended to highlight filial piety of children in their perceptions of successful aging; Ogimi villagers in Japan considered the traditional weaving as one means towards successful aging; in Korea, many elders take the success of their children as the marker of their successful aging."

Hmm...somewhat skewed I think. The Singaporean view I think is more balanced which is :
"Singapore elderly people wish for healthy, happy and independent lives, and meanwhile are eager for love from children, care from family and respect from society. " (Follow this link for the full text of the report  http://www.fas.nus.edu.sg/cfpr/media/images/lhzbcolumn/2017/Feb17E.pdf ).

As for me, while habitually twitching my fringe to hide the parallel lines above my nose despite the constant inner voice to be zen about it, my true Chinese New Year wish is to remain healthy so that I can always feel younger than my real age.

Predictions

The first thing to do on the morning of every Lunar New Year is to visit the temple where my father in law is laid to rest in the columbarium within its premise. At the main temple where one pays respect to the Buddha there is a collection box. Next to the collection box is a large shallow tray filled with small neatly folded pink packets consisting 2 ten cents coins. Each of these packets has on it 1 to 4 Chinese characters written in black ink. The little pink packets are arranged like a mandala in the tray standing sideway such that the words are not visible. Visitors can pick any one of the packets randomly. The words written on the selected packet is supposed to tell your situation in life for the coming year, very much like the fortune cookies. Apparently from past experience of visitors the predictions are quite accurate.

The predictions have so far seemed fairly accurate for me and my husband. For instance one year my husband was inundated with scam calls from the US arising from his showing some interest in certain investments. The wordings on his selected pink packet cautioned against false advice from outsiders. In another year when I was constantly encouraging him to join me for Buddhist studies, the wordings in his packet suggested that he learned the dharma. A few years ago I picked one with a single word "ren 忍 "  meaning to endure or tolerate. That year I really had to put up with a lot of emotional roller coasting projected onto me from someone close. Once I saw the words 快乐  on the packet picked by a little boy. What else is life for a small boy but to be happy of course.

This year I was shocked to see the words 智慧  (wisdom) on the packet that I picked. I am quietly pleased but still puzzled how that can come about. To have 智慧   is one of the goals of a Buddhist because with wisdom one can navigate the challenges in life and able to achieve equanimity. I am aspiring towards it but know fully well I am no way near it, in fact very very long way to go. Yet this prediction is like some positive psychology, like I should really try to live up to it in some small semblance at least. The fact that I will be starting classes very soon under a very gifted teacher who is always able to explain the sutra in such clarity is promising. Yet I am still far from confident because to have wisdom is not only to have the knowledge , it is a lot to do with being able to practice it ie. to walk the talk.

May this prediction be true even in some small ways.