When 10 meter is way too far

I attend Taiji class at Serangoon Garden Country Club every Sunday morning from 8 to 9 am. 2 Two classes are conducted at the carpark with half of its length ringed off for the purpose. Swimming classes for the children start at 9am. Usually by that time there will be a stream of cars approaching the carpark. Drivers who come later will have problem finding a proper car park slot but can always park their car at an open unpaved ground still within the club's premise but about 10 meters away. As the gym is nearer to the place where we practice Taiji a person going for his workout will have to walk slightly further as he cannot access the carpark spaces outside the gym. The club had in the past received complaints about these inconveniences but the club held its stand explaining that the Taiji groups have been practicing for more than 2 decades and there arent't any alternative space for the classes. One really fails to figure out what the rationale of the complaint is given that people go for exercise at the gym. So an additional 20 meter walk from the carpark to the gym is a toll and it doesn't even qualify as a warm up?

This morning about 5 minutes before 9 am a car drove at quite a speed abruptly stopped before the 2 traffic cones and tapes which were used to cordon off the area for Taiji. I was practicing closest to the cones and could see the driver giving us a hand signal with his palm as if saying "What is this man?". I gave him a smirk look which I hope he could notice.  Ignoring him the teacher just continued as per normal. Meanwhile I was a bit worried that the driver might out of sudden madness bulldoze into us. A short while later 2 boys around 8 to 10 years of age came out of the car and walked towards the pool. The male driver in his late 30s then got out, stood next to the opened car door and asked in a raised irritated voice "what time will this be over?" By then we were done and the teacher quickly removed the traffic cones.

I caught sight of the guy queuing  at the pool cafe to order food on my way to the ladies. I was thinking to myself that I should walk up to him and pass some sarcastic remarks. I was musing over what I should say. Perhaps I can walk up to him and say "Sir, don't you agree that we have many first world problems in Singapore" or maybe I should say "Sir, you must have a terrible day today, sorry we made you wait " or maybe "Sorry sir that we delayed your breakfast" or even "Sir, you really showed a very good example to your kids on how to assert your rights".

I don't know what's coming over me but as I grow older I develop impulses to voices my opinion even in front of strangers. For instance I told a cab driver once to be very wary when he shared that he has a Chinese national girl friend. In another instance I told the contract cleaning worker that he should cut down on his smoking. Maybe this is what they called the "以老卖老" syndrome ie, using the excuse of age to ignore rules. 

In the end I didn't speak to the guy although I stared at him and gave him a dirty look on my way out. In the car I mused about it and became aware of my lack of kindness. Who knows maybe he really had a bad day or perhaps his wife left him. It is also possible he is a product of much blessings such that minor inconveniences seem insurmountable. Maybe I should have given him a pitiful look instead.

Passionate pursuits

I was lunching with my husband at a restaurant yesterday. A young couple with 2 young kids were at the next table. As it was a buffet lunch I had lots of time watching people nearby whilst my husband passionately tried all kinds of food being served. One of the kids at the next table was sitting on a baby chair whilst the elder one was trying her best to reach the food on the table. Their age difference was small and I noticed mum and dad taking turns to feed the kids and engaging them. The couple looked like professionals or executives and instantly reminded me of myself and my husband 3 decades ago in a similar situation. Very likely it was the maid's day off and the easiest way was to eat out and get the kids distracted in some new environment.

I began to muse how very likely the couples' trajectories and wishes could resemble ours a long time ago. It was a time when, with one mindedness, we spent all our energy on providing the children with every thinkable resources to nurture their physical and intellectual development as well as emotional development as an afterthought. We worked on our day job to finance and enable this pursuit and tried our best to balance the time and effort between work and family. We worried about their school work, we worried when they were sick, we worried about the friends they had or not had, we worried about their career choices, we worried about their partners or lack of. Maybe because I was gazing at them, the young mum stared at me. Maybe she thought I was being nosy or maybe she wondered whether this middle age  couple is childless and lonely or is having empty nest syndrome.

Now me, the middle age woman having lunch beside the busy young couple was really wondering what else she could do with her life other than relishing food and seeing places. What passion can now fire up my life. I watched a BBC documentary on Sir David Attenbourough, the naturalist who produced and narrated  BBC natural history programmes. The documentary showed him at 88 still travelling the world  filming natural life (often in precarious positions like being hoisted 250ft in the air filming the bat colony in a Borneo Cave); and learning with great excitement and enthusiasm of the latest equipment and technology available to make better films.

I think having a passion will keep a person going and living to a ripe old age, for example Warren Buffet at 86 is still keeping his passion of investing alive. However not everyone is so fortunate as to have a passion or know one right away. Fortunately you can find or develop one though it may be a long self-discovery process. It usually starts with recalling the subject that you often talk about most excitedly. It does not need to be something artistic or altruistic and can even be mundane to most. It's an activity that fully absorbs your mind and you are in the state of flow. One should really embark early in search for one.


"Don’t worry about what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive"- Howard Thurman

Shakespeare 2016

Watching the first 20 min of the second US presidential debate made me wonder how the presidential candidates of the world's most powerful country had stooped so low just exposing each other's dirty linen. It was worse than a cat fight. Increasingly it becomes harder and harder for me to comprehend the happenings in this world.

Todays ST carried an article "Shakespeare explains the 2016 US election". In the play Richard III, Shakespeare  through his characters portrayed 5 types of people that collectively enabled a loathsome villain to attain the crown. As with many of his plays, his observation about human truths are still applicable in this modern world.

The 5 types are as follow:
- Those who trust that everything will continue in a normal way
- Those who can not focus and have a penchant for forgetting, always trying to normalise the abnormal
-Those that are frightened or helpless in the face of bullying
-Those who felt they could gain from the situation and hence assisting the process
-Those who take pleasure in the madness and outrage and as the writer puts it "enjoying every minute of his ascent to power"

I was just thinking that the same traits are present in our people too though we had never put outrageous candidates into parliament. I am not ashamed to admit I can be included in type 1 and 2. The trust that everything will work as before leads to indifference and apathy; relying on the structure to resolve whatever problems that arise. Even if something does seem evidently wrong it is easier to forget and not remembering the problem whilst trying to normalise it (type 2).

Way back when I was very young I voted for the ruling party because I was working for the government and feared my career prospect might be jeopardised if the vote was not really secret as was claimed. As I became more matured I was angry when their strategies to gain vote tilted towards blackmailing. Hence I don't belong to type 3 nor 4.

Though I followed the US presidential debates just to enjoy the drama, I do not for a moment wish an irrational and unkind person to be the US president. I am no sadist, and

I should reread my Shakespeare literature books.

Dissatsfaction with mundane realities in life?

 "The mundane realities that define most people's lives" - A phrase I took notice of in a novel that I read and included in my list of literary quotes.
I had a dream yesterday wherein I cried in exasperation to a friend, "But we need to find some purpose in our lives  (or was it the word meaning that I used)"

In Buddhism amongst many durkha (or sufferings) in people is the feeling of insubstantiality in life, a form of existential crisis if you will usually accompanied by feelings of hollowness or emptiness.

In my last blog I discussed the 3 personality types in Buddhism.  It does not take much to know that I belong to the aversive type ie. the type that finds things inadequate, an everlasting sense that something is lacking but not knowing what. So I may spend a lot of time analyzing myself whilst letting each moment pass and losing it.

A lot of this unsatisfactoriness stamps from the perception of "I" which then leads to endless questions pertaining to what is it for "Me" in this world, in this life, "My Life" that is. Albert Einstein calls this "I" preoccupation an optical delusion, as per his quote below:

“A human being is a part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving for such achievement is in itself a part of the liberation and a foundation for inner security” 

So even this so call search for meaning or substantiality in the egoistic "I" can be a delusion. Focusing on each moment and letting go of the "I" preoccupation provides an avenue for liberation and inner security as per Einstein's quote above.

Yes "mundane realities that define most people's lives" should be fine when unencumbered, isn't it?