3 personality types

Monday will see the first presidential debate between Clinton and Trump which is worth watching. A column in the ST last week highlighted some unforgettable moments in past presidential debates. Bush was caught checking his watch when someone asked him a question thus making him seem unengaged. Ford was remembered for declaring there wasn't any Soviet domination of Eastern Europe despite the fact that there was. Gore was caught sighing loudly when his opponent was talking reflecting his condescending nature.

When reading the column I began to relate the above situations to the 3 poisons taught in Buddhism, craving, delusion and aversion. Bush was too attached to his own time and space . Ford was deluded and Gore was averse to his opponent's views in a stand-offish manner.

Indeed in Buddhist psychology 3 personality types are mentioned. The greedy type, the aversive type and the deluded type. Those with greed temperament are constantly clinging on to comfort and pleasure. The aversive type like to judge and reject and are easily annoyed. The deluded type often appear confused and uncertain. Every person has all these temperament in varying degree but usually one dominates.

A quiz I came across help people discover which temperamental type they belong to. One question asks what people notice when visiting a friend's home for the first time. The greedy type will notice some pieces of furniture or appliances they will love to have. The aversive type will notice how cluttered the house is or how the house would look better if certain things are disposed or rearranged. The deluded type will leave without remembering anything about the house.

Another interesting quiz question is how a person behaved in school, always chatting with friends, always correcting the teacher or always doodling and dreaming. Yet another questions asks how a person feels towards shopping, a sport, a necessary evil or a confusion (with so many brands to choose from).

The whole idea is not to bash oneself for being either greedy, angry or stupid. The main point is to be aware whenever we are in these states; because the 3 poisons bring us misery and 烦恼.

Coming back to the past presidential debates the most defining moment was when Reagan then 73 was asked whether he could continue effectively.  He replied "I will not make age an issue of this campaign, I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience".

To me that was a classic reply. He didn't argue that 73 is still youthful (ie. non clinging). He didn't brand his questioner an ageist (ie. non judgemental). He was not unsure of his effectiveness despite his age. (no muddle mindedness).

These Suffering kids

I was drafting the case notes on a sandplay session and half way through I needed a break, a breather. I needed some resourcing and got up to look at the plants and flowers in the garden and to breathe in the freshness of the air after the rain. The story played out by the child client is too heart wrenching and sending out very distressing messages of hidden pain and hurt.

For some children sandplay is such a powerful media for expressing inner issues. There is no way a child or even an adult can articulate verbally the internal strife, especially when there are struggles between rationale & conscience on the one hand versus emotional avalanche & helplessness on the other. A child caught up in the conflicts between separated parents often vacillates between acceptance and angry denial or wishful nostalgia. The child I just had a session with is of course exceptionally psychic and projects her pain vividly in stories that symbolise her inner torment and confusion and her struggles to understand which world is "real", the one before or after her parents' separation.

Of course very few children are able to reflect and project a story so intuitively and spontaneously as this child. However her experience further strengthens my conviction that sandplay is a great media for kids to express their hidden feelings which they can not articulate or sometimes repressed by the conscious self. In another children's home that I volunteered with the children are definitely less able to tell a long flowing story also because they are limited by language and words. However I now think that putting a picture or story in the sand tray provided an outlet even when there is little rhetoric. I was puzzled and bored when one girl at the home played time and time again a scene of a crowded home with lots of beds sometimes stacking on one another. She kept on asking me to provide more beds. I knew there was a longing for home but only after reading an article in a Sandplay journal where there was a similar need by a child did I realize that the bed could symbolise the assurance that a bed is waiting for her back home.

Bless all these suffering children.

No One

Have you ever travelled on your own to a town or place where no one knows you? The feeling can be quite refreshing and liberating. This I found especially so when walking along a crowded street in a foreign country where no one bothers to take notice of you, say like in KL or in cosmopolitan London. As you mingle with the crowd you feel like you are a floating "nobody". There is a sense of freedom you will not feel at home . You are free from the need to be who you have to be. For instance you can just walk out without make up because you don't have to look good for someone you may meet. Maybe because you are also on holiday there is also less self preoccupation thoughts too. You are unknown and no one cares two hoots whether you are a good or bad mother, wife, sister, daughter or employee. As long as you don't walk into a luxury store you need not worry whether you look rich enough to buy the items on display. In short there is no image to uphold and no identity to cling onto. This suspension of the egoistic self is quite uplifting.


Philosopher Sartre once said "I recognise I am as the other sees me", " I see myself because somebody sees me".

Most times we feel secure living with an established basis of who we are, but now and then we can be struck by an awareness that we could be someone else or no one perhaps.