不要想太多

Have you ever been troubled and people advise you 不要想太多(don't think too much). Tall order isn't it. Surely if you can you wouldn't be troubled in the first place. Such advice is as useless and unhelpful as telling a bereaved person not to feel sad. Especially for a person prone to worries the tendency to ruminate could have become a habit over the years.

What can be more helpful is either teaching the sufferer techniques on how not to ruminate or better still explain the logic behind the 不要想太多advice.

So under the first method you share with the person ways to literally block the ruminations, like being engaged with some activity that requires total absorption eg. gardening, reading, exercise, chanting, meditation or whatever hobbies a person is passionate about. Being immersed in such activities hijacks the person's bewildered mind and provides relief and a feel good effect. It may then dawn on the person that problems can co-exist side by side with states of well-being in life.

A more steadfast solution could be to cultivate the habit of being aware of one's thoughts and emotions, although this needs hardwork and commitment. Observing one's thoughts and emotions first recognises that they exist before being lost in them. Like a bystander watching the relentless flow of thoughts rising and receding, one notices how the thoughts affect the emotions and vice versa in a witch dance. The conditions giving rise to them like certain self beliefs and social / cultural conditioning then become evident. One then understands why thoughts can creep up without  effort and how they can likewise just fade away if one does not attend to them. It also dawns on one that the world created inside one's head is unreal and changes with different thoughts and emotions. If one does not think 'that' way, 'that' world does not exist. Given how thin and tenuous the world created by thoughts is, one should therefore Not Think too Much 不要想太多.

The Lazy Investor

I am an awfully lazy investor. Every year around this time  I will stack up all the hard copies of new company annual reports received through the post. I then remove the pile of untouched old AR from the cabinet and replaced it with the new stack. This has been repeated year after year. I suppose I go through this meaningless routine each year believing I will find some time to know a bit more about the companies I have invested in, or rather find the interest to do so. (Maybe you can call it professional fatigue but I don't enjoy reading financial statements now).

I usually attend the Annual General Meetings of the smaller companies which are not covered by analysts as well as companies which I contemplate gaining or reducing exposure. At these AGMs when people ask the management very detailed questions often beginning with "Can I refer you to page XX of the AR" I will inevitably  tell myself I need to be more diligent and more informed on what I am investing in. Lazy investors like me who hope to be enlightened at AGMs can only pray for more questions being raised and a good buffet spread as an icing.

In particular I will be most delighted when youngish investors ask very in-depth questions. I have a feeling some of them are full time investors. At times I see the same faces of these 'serious investors' at different AGMs. Spotting them gives me a little comfort that I share the same investment they have decided on after doing their detailed homework. It is a bit like a lazy student copying the work of a diligent one, although Warren Buffet's golden rule is never invest in anything you don't know well.

Attending these AGMs sometimes makes me nostalgic too, especially when questions are raised about the company's financing plans. The standard and familiar answers are similar to responses I used to rehearse and prepare when participating in my ex-company's road shows. In addition spotting familiar faces in the panel of board directors sitting on the stage brings back memories of days when they were in my company's board; and how I struggled to answer their grilling queries on papers put up for approval. Then there are the supporting staff running around to facilitate the AGMs, probably staff from Corp Com or PR departments. They remind me of the extensive preparation for corporate events and it makes me feel like I have missed out on something after I have stopped working. Joining the long queue at the reception after the AGM can make one feel even more deprived lol.

Nevertheless in everything there is the pros and cons. With the knowledge that the company will be distributing consistent dividend I will feel recharged and top the outing with a shopping spree, diligently spending the returns as a lazy investor.

Worldly Winds

Read the shocking revelation about Narendra Modi, the Prime Minister contender in India, . It was when he declared himself as married  whilst filing his candidate papers that the public realised he has a wife. After the arranged marriage, he apparently convinced her to return to her parents' home to pursue her studies and then deserted her for 45 years ie. no contact. She, a retired teacher, is now a subject of media frenzy, used both as a pawn by Modi's rivals to tarnish him and at the same time by his supporters to boost his image for having an ideal Indian wife who is described as "obedient, dutiful, submissive and self-sacrificing". Apparently she is a very simple woman who fasts and prays for his welfare, owns only 5 saris, never demands anything and "accepts what comes her way".

To me this is a classic case of Fame and Shame, for both husband and wife,  depending on how people view it. Here lies the catch, the views are held by others, it is beyond one's control. Poor woman, I wonder how she is managing the unwanted limelight. I am sure she is not very well received by the young educated Indian women who have been protesting against gender inequality and disrespect since the Delhi rape incident. Will her husband end up blaming her if the situation dampens his chances?

Indeed Fame and Shame are just 2 of the 8 Worldly Winds that torment us. The other 6, usually mentioned in pairs include Praise & Blame, Gain & Loss, Pleasure & Pain. To abide by Buddhist teachings one should try not to be too affected by these winds which blow afflictions. Indeed a glance through the daily newspapers provide sufficient evidence,albeit of more severe examples. Today's news includes a senior banker who is accused of taking upskirt videos ( a case of lust for momentary pleasure, probably to distract some internal pain) and a divorced woman who is denied a monthly maintenance because she was already awarded close to $4m out of her husbands $10m assets (gain vs loss).Closer to everyday life, don't we all desire for praise/validation and are stabbed by blame at work and at home?

The 8 Worldly Winds blows all of us by varying speeds. Very often it comes and goes beyond our control. All we can do is be firm and avoid being uprooted in our mind.
It's a mind game.

A blessed day

Sometines luck comes in small ways. Due to a flight cancellation by Tigers Airway, we had to shorten our trip at Lombok, Indonesia to a 2-night stay. I was quite pissed to fly more than 2 hours for such a short trip. So we planned to do everything on the only full day we have which was a Saturday . After a super early breakfast we took  a walk to another beach. The rain overnight had cooled the otherwise intensely hot and humid weather (worse than Singapore) and a rainbow overhead promised a good start. The unspoilt southern tip of Lombok is really quite remote and looks very much like Trengganu 20 years ago. Cows are seen grazing everywhere and there is hardly any traffic. Back at the hotel by 10am the cloudy sky was superb for canoeing. It is always a battle when comes to canoeing with my husband on a double seater. He always insists to venture far out into the open sea but hello the high waves at these beaches are best for surfing! Nevertheless whilst watching out for the incoming waves we  spotted a one meter sea creature jumping up and disappearing into the sea. In a flash, the gray creature with white underside looked like a dolpin with a long rope attached to its tail. What a bonus! On further thought it was more likely a sting ray with a long tail and not a rope. Hmmm... sighting a rainbow and a jumping sting ray in one morning gladdens the heart.

In the early afternoon with ginger oil and pulp spread all over my whole body and my husband's quiet hissing snore from the nearby massage bed, I drifted into a trance. I wonder why I never get this effect with masseuse in Singapore, but very often these Indonesian or Thai masseuse, especially the matronly ones with their warm thick palms, make me feel so comfortable and at ease that I never fail to associate those healing touches with basic motherly love and care. "Yes a perfect mother is one who comforts and soothes away your troubles, that's all there is to it".

Some reviewer in Tripadvisor has strongly recommended a trip to Tanjung Aan (TA) which is near to Novotel where we stayed. We almost missed it because one hotel staff misinformed us that it was just a 20 minute walk away and we thought we could leave it to Sunday morning before the return flight home. Luck was on our side and we found out quite accidentally that the hotel does organise a trek to TA every Saturday afternoon. So we and another couple found ourselves in a small van bumping its way over unpaved and steep country roads to TA which took 25 minutes. A magnificent panoramic scene awaits us at the top of the hillock looking down at a heart shaped bay, cows grazing on soft hills and foaming white waves in the distant sea, all stunningly beautiful amidst  the golden glow of the setting sun. Yet another blessing on a perfect day.