3 Takeaways

3 things occupy my mind this morning which I want to register.

1) Read an interesting article about Elizabeth Blackburn (Nobel laureate)'s research on 'telomere' which is the protective cap at the end of chromosomes in cells. As a sucker for symbols and metaphors I really like her description of telomere as the plastic tip of a shoelace that prevents the lace from fraying. So the telomere wears off as we age and its shrinking is a 'precursor of what can become cell disorder". The good and bad news is that behavioral and lifestyle factors can alleviate or accelerate the shortening of the telomere. As you would have guessed research has shown that exercise and good diet help in the former whilst stress (including stressed relationship), excess body mass, unhealthy diet contribute to the later. So the great news in her words is telomeres "can go back up too, in normal cells" to "prolong our healthspan" (note her use of word healthspan and not lifespan).

2) Read a most touching letter in the ST  written by Deepika Shetty expressing her thoughts and feelings with regards to the 23 year old rape victim in India who is now under treatment in Mt Elizabeth hospital in Singapore. This knocks me off my usual disgrunt with our country's continuous pursuit of economic excellence whilst sidetracking progress on social values. It stirs my sense of gratefulness and really makes me feel how blessed women are to be born in Singapore. We are given all the freedom in every aspect  so much that we have taken it for granted and so often bark readily at the 'shortcomings' of our male counterparts.

3) My takeaway from discussions in yesterday's Buddhist class is the need for "Wisdom and Compassion" to live life skillfully. 'Wisdom' for me is to be mindful (of body, feelings, thoughts and the conditions arising); and 'Compassion' if cultivated will help to reduce aversions, stress and unhappiness.

And oh I was amazed at how I unabashedly enjoyed the water slides at Lotus Desaru resort 2 days ago. What FUN!!!  I will go back again, queuing with the kids on top of the slides,over and over again.

365 ways to cook eggs

Was emptying my book shelves when I came across a book entitled "365 ways to cook eggs".  I bought it from a NLB sale some 10 or more years ago. After a decade or so I would congratulate myself if I do know 10 ways to cook an egg This indeed is a classical example of wanting to do, wanting to learn or wanting to experience 101 things and forgetting almost all along the way.

Not to worry, this is not a blog bemoaning procrastination although  year end reflections is around the corner. In fact I want to celebrate idleness or half idleness if you wish. What it means is to shorten the 'to-do' list; to really wake up to reality and focus on 1 or 2  projects/activities closest to my heart. This exercise may also require the peeling off of layers of inauthentic needs of being useful, altruism inclusive. 

Yesterday's ST article "The benefits of an 'inactive' mind" by Maria Konnikova (a doctoral candidate of psychology at Columbia U) enumerates the power of mindfulness and concentration. It discusses various experiments which gave evidence of how even short dosages of daily mindfulness training/meditation brings about not only emotional regulation but also the ability to concentrate. It is also scientifically proven that meditation practice enhances connectivity between the part of the pre-frontal cortex which monitors attention and another part of the brain known as the right insula which regulates our feelings and thoughts, thus enhancing the effectiveness of the brain's attentional resources. New evidences also suggest that our brains structure can continue to change and develop with training. The article mentions an experiment where the activation in the pre-frontal cortex of older adults began to resemble those of younger people after just 5 one-hour training sessions on a task that calls for deep attention.

Whilst meditation and mindful activities like calligraphy once rank low in my priority of daily tasks and delegated to 'only when I have time to spare'; I shall now have to make it a point to spend at least half an hour or more to still the 'monkey' mind so as to cultivate a 'neural real estate' that promotes nourishment for the brains and hopefully delays the 'cognitive decline'.

So instead of trying to master 365 ways to cook eggs, maybe I should spend an hour a day focusing deeply on frying an egg, observing each outcome with varying amount of oil, varying intensity of the fire, varying size of pan used, varying time to flip over etc etc. So my 'mental future' does not lie in knowing the number of ways to cook an egg but the concentration of frying one.

As smart or dumb as your phone

Apparently the first ever SMS was sent some 20 years ago on 3 Dec 1992 when a young Bristish engineer used his computer to send "Merry Christmas" greetings to a guy at Vodafone on his mobile. The later could not respond because there was no way a mobile could send out messages.

My first encounter with SMS was in 2000 when given a small, sleek and stylish Nokia hp with sms function (and without antenna sticking out) by the company. It was the latest upmarket model at that time and I selected a swanky ringtone. Once I left it in a meeting room full of bankers working on a project for our company. When I returned to the room, they told me with envy that I missed a call. It was the first time in my life that I actually owned something before most people did. It was COOL. However it came with a price. We were working on a bond issue and the 2 top bosses' decision had to be sought when pricing the bond. They however would be attending a very important function at the hour of pricing the bond and could not answer calls. I was instructed to sms them to get approval. I was petrified as I never acquainted myself to the method of sending sms. When I told my boss about my apprehension, the response was "we don't give you an expensive phone for nothing".

Can you believe it, just 12 years later the situation is the complete reverse. I am probably one of the last ancient beings using a "dumb" phone. I thought having an I-pad is sufficient. However I felt increasingly 'left out' and 'different' for not having a smart phone.Also when I hear my daughter, husband and others talk excitedly about 'apps' I somehow feel a bit like a dinosaur. Last week when having lunch with my classmates at a course, I felt kind of embarrassed to check my 'dummy' when a sms tone came on. Every one was busy scrolling and scrolling the screens of their smart phones. Sigh! one literally feels as smart or as dumb as the phone one has. Now I can understand why some teenagers resort to stealing or shoplifting. They don't want to be thought poor or uncool or just don't want to be different. Well if a fortish woman whom I was 10 years ago succumbed to feeling COOL just having the first mobile model, what more the youngsters.

I am contemplating to continue using a dumb phone as practice to master 'non-self' ie. not to be conscious of my identity of not having a smart phone. Haha, that was just a joke. I may be a bit bothered when people think me not savy. Whatever it is I will go and get a smart phone. Why? Because I live in mortal fear of not catching up with technology and falling further and further behind if I don't pace with it. We need to adapt to the environment. It is no longer about being COOL.









 

Sandplay

Phew, finally finished the Sandplay Therapy Certificate course. (Haha my classmates said if they knew I enjoyed doing written assignments they would have paid me to do for them. Actually if I am single and rich I will go round the world attending courses and doing written assignments!). Fortunately we didn't have to go KL to complete this course even though there were only 10 participants in Singapore. KL's class already has 27 registered participants and could never accomodate us. Like I mentioned previously Singaporeans may be adverse to the word 'play'. Even in our class of 10, 4 are foreigners, counsellors from International schools in Singapore and Bangkok.

This 4th and final module was a combination of theories and case presentations. It was an inspiring and insightful session. Although my experience using sandplay therapy with my students is very positive, I was not sufficiently confident of its effectiveness. However after viewing 10 presentations, when we saw over and over again the development of the clients' trays from initial pictures of clutter, chaos, disorder and aggression to more balanced and centred trays often filled with nurturing symbols like nature, vegetation, food, and religious icons; we know that this indeed is a powerful tool. Yes, compared to more 'scientific' tools like CBT (Cognitive behavioral therapy) or Solution Focused therapy, expressive therapies may sound very warm and fuzzy, but with clients who are not very cognitive, who refuse to be cognitive, or tired of being cognitive, being given the freedom and safety to let go of deep seated issues in the psyche is cathartic.

During class, the lecturer spoke about times when the counselor may feel a "mysterious guidance" during the therapeutic process. Many may think him 'loopy'. Indeed we are living in a world or in societies that easily dismiss anything beyond the cognitive and material realm as pathological or abnormal. However we must acknowledge the links between our physical body, our emotions and the psyche or spiritual energy. Amidst all the talk about Singaporeans being emotionless, I do think that a lot of Singaporeans are not very receptive to anything without structure and beyond the cognitive and physical plane. (Incidentally I am quite taken aback that Singapore has acquired quite an unfavorable reputation abroad. I heard us being mentioned in 2 international forums broadcasted by BBC on  social issues that quoted us as hedonistic, lacking individualism, miserable and pathetic though successful economically. Quite scary. One panelist even described Singapore as a "paradise with miserable people").

Anyway, I am also doubtful any organization here has budget to employ a sandplay therapist. Might be difficult to justify employing someone just to get clients to play. However experiencing the power of this technique I intend to share it with my ex colleagues at the family service centre.