You can pick a skill or 2 on how to evade probing questions or anwer hard hitting questions when you listen to BBC's Hard Talk. In the program the reporter interviews prominent or newsworthy people often grilling them to uncover the truth.
The following are some ways which the interviewees handle them:
1) Repeatedly reiterate prepared answers. When challenged by the reporter for not really answering the question, simply retort "your question is irrelevant".
2) When probed as to the cause of certain failures, briefly remark that the situation has been very challenging then promptly and continuously focus on the steps which have already been taken to remedy or improve the situation.
3) When the reporter persistently wants to uncover the cause of some events, remarks like "this is an issue that requires context, it must be viewed in the new context" helps.
4) Motherhood statements and vague terms like "structural reforms are being taken" sound good without giving away any thing.
5)When pressed for more specific or concrete steps that have been taken, comment that the technicalities or details have yet to be finalised and can not be disclosed.
6)When reporter challenged one's statements by quoting comments from ordinary citizens that indicate otherwise, retort that individual views is not representative. When reporter quotes opinion from other prominent people resort to "it's a matter of judgement" or "well, once upon a time people thought the world is flat".
7) When queried about some bad image, admit "we do have a lot to do" or "the issue is rather complicated" but list all the things that have gone well including procedures or regulations which have always been in place.
8)When grilled for what will happen next, say " I am not a foreteller ".
9) When asked to comment about some personal wrong doings, deny without flinching and ask for concrete evidence. When challenged by the reporter that some other well known figures believe of one's wrong doings, remark "There is a lot of misrepresentation here, I don’t have to prove my innocence, someone else has to prove I was wrong and they can't".
10) When grilled about the wrong usage of sensitve words or phrases which stirred up much protest or unhappiness , use Whoopi Goldberg's reply "The more you use it the less power it has"
11) When challenged by reporter that certain prominent people disbelieve in one's words retort with "If they do not believe us, that does not mean they speak the truth".
12) When asked whether one regrets certain actions which were clearly wrong with hindsight, maintain a stance of no regrets as the decision was deemed best under those circumstances.
Not sure whether the above can be applied when grilled by one's boss. However I guess you can use tactic no.2 (ie. focus on remedial actions or good things already in place)when you still need your pay packet. However if you do not need the pay packet so badly you may try tactic no.1 (telling him he may be irrelevant) or better still tactic no.6 (telling him he reserves the right to his own opinion and anyway once upon a time people did think the world is flat). That is when your resignation letter is already in your drawer.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Impossible Wishes
Without fail well wishes are exchanged and prayed for every lunar new year, often without much deeper thoughts. In recent years when I utter some of these common greetings some doubt or apprehension would surface in my mind momentarily. For example when I wish someone 心想事成 a tinge of skeptism would flash in my mind as to whether anyone would really know what is best for themselves. Likewise would 万事如意 ever be possible in a person's life year after year. If it does wouldn't that render them unable to handle any obstacle or misfortune that occurs eventually. Wouldn't the desire for all good things lining up one after another make us miserable when that fails to happen? Don't we have to be cognisant of the fact that even happy situations do end as change occurs every moment?
During Chinese calligraphy class, the teacher passed around a book full of well meaning couplets as ideas for writing CNY scrolls. I struggled trying to read the chinese characters and understanding their meaning. Noticing my handicap the teacher read a loud for me some phrases which she herself liked whilst explaining their meaning. In the end I settled for 与 山 同 静, 隋地有春 . My understanding or personal interpretation of the phrases is that of a state of mind 'to have the calmness and quietude like that of the mountain and for spring to flourish everywhere'. Needless to say to achieve that is no mean feat. However I think it is at least achievable to varying degrees depending on mind training and resolve. Certainly it is a better bet than 万事如意 or 笑口常開 (always smiling).
During Chinese calligraphy class, the teacher passed around a book full of well meaning couplets as ideas for writing CNY scrolls. I struggled trying to read the chinese characters and understanding their meaning. Noticing my handicap the teacher read a loud for me some phrases which she herself liked whilst explaining their meaning. In the end I settled for 与 山 同 静, 隋地有春 . My understanding or personal interpretation of the phrases is that of a state of mind 'to have the calmness and quietude like that of the mountain and for spring to flourish everywhere'. Needless to say to achieve that is no mean feat. However I think it is at least achievable to varying degrees depending on mind training and resolve. Certainly it is a better bet than 万事如意 or 笑口常開 (always smiling).
Saturday, January 7, 2012
A Dream Interpretation
This is how a Jungian therapist interpretes a lady's dream:
Let's call this 52 year old dreamer Anna. In her dream Anna was 5 years old and her mother had brought her to school. She was frightened, cried and wanted to go home. She refused to let her mum leave. Her mum said she would come back shortly but Anna watched her leaving in a car. A girl who was sitting next to her smiled when Anna told her her name. Anna then woke up.
As the dream is about Anna being a child and not something which is physically possible, it is interpreted from a "subjective" stance. This means all the persons in the dream represent different parts of Anna's psyche. Hence it is an intra-psyche commentary. (This differs from an "objective" stance which is interpreted as a inter-psyche commentary between the dreamer and other people in a dream. An objective stance is applied when the situation in the dream is physically possible).
From a "subjective" stance, the mother in Anna's dream represents Anna's Mother complex. ( A mother complex is a potentially active component of everyone's psyche, informed first of all by experience of the personal mother, then by significant contact with other women and by collective assumptions). The little girl in the dream represents Anna's Shadow, a positive one as we shall soon see. (The positive shadow is the inner psyche which sets boundaries and is in control of a person's connection with the world).
The analyst first asked how Anna felt in the dream. In the dream Anna felt powerless and frightened. The analyst then went on to ask about her conscious attitude prior to her dream, meaning event or situation which preoccupies her. Anna shared that she was in a dilemma whether to place her mum who is suffering from dementia in a nursing home. Anna is a single mother and her mum had provided great support over the years in bringing up Anna's kids. However mum's current condition has deteriorated so much that Anna can not leave the old lady alone at home whilst she is out working. In fact Anna often has to resort to various tricks to get the old lady to perform her daily routine. Anna reckoned that she might have to trick her mum into agreeing to stay at the nursing home.
Next the analyst developed associations to the objects and experiences in the dream. First of all the analyst asked Anna to recall what went on when she was 5.
Anna's own parents divorced when she was 5. Her mother then brought her to live in another city. Anna's mother could not afford to put her in day care and had no choice but to put Anna in a school even before Anna was ready for it. Anna remembered being frightened of the bigger kids at school and was miserable for one whole year. Anna also recalled that her mum used to trick her and often left her at someone's home for a long time even though she promised to be back shortly. When she was older, Anna appreciated the dire circumstances they were in then and that her mum had not much choice. The little girl in the dream was her only friend in school.
The Jungian analyst describes the dream as an intra psyche commentary. Anna's inner psyche is sending her a powerful message that the situation which she is now facing is a mirror of the situation that her mum faced when Anna was 5. The positive Shadow and her Mother complex condone a little trickery and tell Anna that though she is sad she has no choice and that it is the best she could do for her mum under these circumstances.
As C.G.Jung once said:
"The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul, opening into that cosmic night which was psyche long before there was any ego consciousness, and which will remain psyche no matter how far our ego-consciousness extends."
Let's call this 52 year old dreamer Anna. In her dream Anna was 5 years old and her mother had brought her to school. She was frightened, cried and wanted to go home. She refused to let her mum leave. Her mum said she would come back shortly but Anna watched her leaving in a car. A girl who was sitting next to her smiled when Anna told her her name. Anna then woke up.
As the dream is about Anna being a child and not something which is physically possible, it is interpreted from a "subjective" stance. This means all the persons in the dream represent different parts of Anna's psyche. Hence it is an intra-psyche commentary. (This differs from an "objective" stance which is interpreted as a inter-psyche commentary between the dreamer and other people in a dream. An objective stance is applied when the situation in the dream is physically possible).
From a "subjective" stance, the mother in Anna's dream represents Anna's Mother complex. ( A mother complex is a potentially active component of everyone's psyche, informed first of all by experience of the personal mother, then by significant contact with other women and by collective assumptions). The little girl in the dream represents Anna's Shadow, a positive one as we shall soon see. (The positive shadow is the inner psyche which sets boundaries and is in control of a person's connection with the world).
The analyst first asked how Anna felt in the dream. In the dream Anna felt powerless and frightened. The analyst then went on to ask about her conscious attitude prior to her dream, meaning event or situation which preoccupies her. Anna shared that she was in a dilemma whether to place her mum who is suffering from dementia in a nursing home. Anna is a single mother and her mum had provided great support over the years in bringing up Anna's kids. However mum's current condition has deteriorated so much that Anna can not leave the old lady alone at home whilst she is out working. In fact Anna often has to resort to various tricks to get the old lady to perform her daily routine. Anna reckoned that she might have to trick her mum into agreeing to stay at the nursing home.
Next the analyst developed associations to the objects and experiences in the dream. First of all the analyst asked Anna to recall what went on when she was 5.
Anna's own parents divorced when she was 5. Her mother then brought her to live in another city. Anna's mother could not afford to put her in day care and had no choice but to put Anna in a school even before Anna was ready for it. Anna remembered being frightened of the bigger kids at school and was miserable for one whole year. Anna also recalled that her mum used to trick her and often left her at someone's home for a long time even though she promised to be back shortly. When she was older, Anna appreciated the dire circumstances they were in then and that her mum had not much choice. The little girl in the dream was her only friend in school.
The Jungian analyst describes the dream as an intra psyche commentary. Anna's inner psyche is sending her a powerful message that the situation which she is now facing is a mirror of the situation that her mum faced when Anna was 5. The positive Shadow and her Mother complex condone a little trickery and tell Anna that though she is sad she has no choice and that it is the best she could do for her mum under these circumstances.
As C.G.Jung once said:
"The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul, opening into that cosmic night which was psyche long before there was any ego consciousness, and which will remain psyche no matter how far our ego-consciousness extends."
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Euro & Life 10 years on
1st January 2012 marked the 10th anniversary of the Euro. Ten years ago at the stroke of midnight the Deutschmark together with some other European currencies ceased to be of legal tender. However the Euro was actually introduced in a non-physical form (traveller's cheques, electronic transfers, banking, etc.) at midnight on 1 January 1999. That was when the exchange rate of the currencies of participating countries (the eurozone) were locked at fixed rates against the Euro. The notes and coins for the old currencies, however, continued to be used as legal tender until new euro notes and coins were introduced on 1 January 2002. Whereas the Euro was full of promises 10 years ago it now is associated with crisis.
News about the Euro's 10th anniversary made me recall the preparation I and my ex-colleagues had to make just before 1999. The company had many outstanding contracts with contractors and suppliers from Germany, France and Italy. We had to make changes to our budgeting, purchasing and accounts payable software systems for the conversion into Euro. However it was not the technicalities I recalled. What I remembered was having one of our bankers over to brief all our users, mainly engineers from various departments, about the new currency and the technicalities involving payments etc. It was a large gathering. If I am not mistaken it was held in our theatrette. Because of the very friendly and collegial atmosphere, I remembered the banker making a remark that the gathering was like a big family reunion. Yes, back in 1999 the company was like a big family. Other than minor squabbles between departments, people are generally co-operative and there was little or no back stabbing. Those were really good times and the work life balance was wonderful (if not a bit underweight on 'work' haha). I was able to knock off at 6 pm to spend time with my kids in the evenings.
Come to think of it, my generation is quite fortunate. At least we had many years of comfortable life relative to the long hours that the current workforce had to put in. But I always wonder whether the current work culture is peculiar only to Singapore and certain Asian countries. If so how is it other countries can manage with shorter working hours and a more balanced lifestyle. I think we are brain washed through years of political reminders that we need to strive to succeed as the country lacks natural resources. The national archetype is hence that of efficiency and hardwork. To this end the government has probably succeeded but it now faces the problem of low fertility rate when its people have no time and energy to raise kids.
Well even governments like ours and the European Union are hit by curve balls. Maybe it is a reminder to avoid having tunnel visions and being overly confident of apparent best line of actions.
News about the Euro's 10th anniversary made me recall the preparation I and my ex-colleagues had to make just before 1999. The company had many outstanding contracts with contractors and suppliers from Germany, France and Italy. We had to make changes to our budgeting, purchasing and accounts payable software systems for the conversion into Euro. However it was not the technicalities I recalled. What I remembered was having one of our bankers over to brief all our users, mainly engineers from various departments, about the new currency and the technicalities involving payments etc. It was a large gathering. If I am not mistaken it was held in our theatrette. Because of the very friendly and collegial atmosphere, I remembered the banker making a remark that the gathering was like a big family reunion. Yes, back in 1999 the company was like a big family. Other than minor squabbles between departments, people are generally co-operative and there was little or no back stabbing. Those were really good times and the work life balance was wonderful (if not a bit underweight on 'work' haha). I was able to knock off at 6 pm to spend time with my kids in the evenings.
Come to think of it, my generation is quite fortunate. At least we had many years of comfortable life relative to the long hours that the current workforce had to put in. But I always wonder whether the current work culture is peculiar only to Singapore and certain Asian countries. If so how is it other countries can manage with shorter working hours and a more balanced lifestyle. I think we are brain washed through years of political reminders that we need to strive to succeed as the country lacks natural resources. The national archetype is hence that of efficiency and hardwork. To this end the government has probably succeeded but it now faces the problem of low fertility rate when its people have no time and energy to raise kids.
Well even governments like ours and the European Union are hit by curve balls. Maybe it is a reminder to avoid having tunnel visions and being overly confident of apparent best line of actions.
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