Suffer the Children

When Jesus said "Suffer the children" he meant to allow the children to go to him ie. not to forbid them; in olden English 'suffer' means 'allow'. I think Jesus also used children as an imagery of how one can learn from their innocence and humble faith.”

Although I know full well that 'suffer' is not what it means in today's English, this phrase "Suffer the children" still flashes my mind whenever a child shares about what he has to put up with at home. I guess what I really mean is 'How the children suffer!'.

This primary 6 boy whom I am seeing once in about 3 weeks greeted me with "Long time no see", a sign he had a story waiting to tell. He started ranting with mocked irritation about a girl in class who never ever returns things she borrows from him (which does not surprise me as boy-girl relationship often preoccupies their minds and is of great significance in their world). He then went on to fuss about his mum who seems to go back on her promises. So as usual I helped him to be more cognitive of his contribution to such tiffs. Then as he warmed up, the mischievious smile on his face faded and he started to grab the cushion. Bit by bit he tried to talk about what he himself might not understand, the events happening around him. As he spoke I could feel he was trying to make sense of the situation at home and struggling to express his mixed feelings. Apparently he had gone with his mum to consult a doctor and the doctor warned him never to irritate his mother who was given one month MC to cope with stress and anxieties. His parents were divorced and the last he heard from his father was when he called to wish him happy birthday last year.

You can sense that a child is growing up before his time when he swings from "I can't just stand here and watch my mother falling sick" one minute to "She said I could play computer games for one hour but she kept yelling for me to stop before the time's up" the next minute. I have also noticed that amongst children from single families, a common complaint from teachers about them seems to be "day dreaming" or "mind drifting" in class. It wrenches one's heart to see a child struggling to cope with the shattered faith that the world and in particular his home is a safe place to live in.

Acts of God?

Today a ST journalist described in disgust certain remarks passed by some people in various parts of the world on the Japanese calamities, some of which tentamount to downright meaness and cruelty. These include cartoonists and comedians poking fun, religious leaders who remarked that the Japanese people deserved the sufferings because they embrace idols and materialism to remarks about it being karma or pay-back from the ravages the Japanese inflicted during the second world war as well as religious extremists claiming that the disasters were acts of God to punish non-believers.

Fortunately on the flip side there were much much more emails, blogs etc calling for prayers for the people of Japan. A friend of mine sent an email with a link that encourages readers to use the power of the mind as a group to help the victims by visualing the cooling of the nucleur reactors.

After I had finished my Chinese Calligraphy homework last weekend, I suddenlty felt like writing a few phrases to express what my heart wished for the afflicted Japanese. As I am almost Chinese illiterate, I surfed the net and found a site which had a whole list of Chinese phrases for blessings. At first sight what seem most relevant are phrases like "Shang Di Bao You" (May god bless/protect you) or "Shen Ci Ni Li Liang" (God bestow you the strength). However after further thoughts such phrases do seem ironical. How on earth can one ask God to protect or bless these people when God could have prevented the tragic events in the first place. If one fails to comprehend the meaning of such wrath, one can also understand why some people really believe that God is sending a message of warning. On the other hand one of my classmates in the Chinese Calligraphy class described the calm and stoicism of the Japanese as an attribute derived from the deeply rooted seed of Zen Buddhism in the country, ie. the seed has blossomed and blessed the people with such strength.

The ST Journalist whom himself experienced a personal tragedy a few years ago concluded "That in the end, most of us who have suffered loss want to be defined not by our trials, but by how we overcome them...The people of Japan, by their quiet courage, have shown themselves to be on truly firm ground."

How then should I pray for them? I wrote "Ke Fu Ni Jing" (Overcome adversity), "Jian Ru Jia Jing" (Moving on to good times) and "Yong Wang Zhi Qian" (Move forward courageouly).

Strength of the Japanese

Much has been said about the stoic demeanor and resilience of the Japanese in face of the triple calamity in the country. The orderliness at the shelters, the patient queues for basic necessities, the absence of looting, the caring spirit and the calmness in resuming work routine whenever possible evoke admiration from the world all over. One journalist describes it as almost zen like calmness admist the unbelievable tragedies and uncertainties of what may yet to come.

I believe that every world netizen that watches these footages will stop to ponder how they and their own countrymen will behave or react should such tragedies strike in their own country. In my mind the underlying difference has to be selflessness and the fundamental perception of individual versus society.

This helps me recall certain points made by Archbishop Vincent Nichols at a LSE public lecture advocating religious freedom. The topic may seem irrelevant in the context of the discussion above but certain words are meaningful and may be relevant to understanding how different cultures perceive self and society:

"Nevertheless there remains a pervasive assumption within our culture (referring mainly to the West) that we are little more than separate individuals who happen to share the same space, who ultimately owe nothing to society and have no necessary bonds with others – as it has been called, the “unencumbered” self. The only thing we have in common is the ‘market’ – or as it was quaintly put: ‘Tesco ergo sum’. This leaves us with the challenging question about how we actually link the individual with society.... promoting religious freedom, understood in its richest sense, invites us to inhabit a subversive and different story. This begins with the acceptance that we do not come into life as separate individuals but as fundamentally relational. It acknowledges that to be fully human is constituted by our deepening relationships with others, and I would add, with God. ......It is not just that we are born into relationships of dependence, or even that without our relationships we could not grow or develop. It is that only through our relationships – of love, friendship,the enlargement of our social ties - that we can be fulfilled. To be fully human is to be more than an individual - it is to be a person-in-relationship, self- transcendent, creative and emergent.....such a person flourishes in his or her relationality, not living alone in his or her castle, but mixing freely in society, a human being composed never of oneself alone but always through connections with others as well"

Perhaps the Japanese are different because they have this 'self-transcendent' characteristic, probably also ingrained for centuries from a Buddhist culture.

Nature's wrath

Watching the CNN reporter in Sendai showing the wreckage of what used to be an elementary school with more than 400 children in it when the earthquake and tsunami struck draws a sense of sadness. One imagines the terror the little ones must have felt in their last moments. Apart from footages which show the waters gushing relentlessly inland sweeping planes, houses, vehicles, trees into the vast rice fields inland, there is also a video which tracked the events from the time when the tsunami warning was first blared out until 40 minutes later when the tsunami descended. Old folks and women holding their children tightly moved orderly up the hill slope. When the tsumani occurred they watched in horror the disaster unfolding before their eyes, holding onto each other in terror whilst comforting the little ones who were crying. Just watching these coverages on TV evoke in us a sense of disbelief, horror and helplessness, what more the victims. You feel the fury of nature and are perplexed at its wrath and wonder whether there is something wrong in the way the human specie live that nature has to retaliate in this manner. Even Japan, a country with advanced technology and a system well in place and rehearsed to face such calamities, stood defenceless against nature's temper. One can appreciate why primitive men worshipped nature as their gods, believing in their power. We, the modern men however through our intellect invent, create, change and control as we desire. In times like this we are reminded that there are things not within our grasp, including when our candle of life extinguishes.

Out of Sight Out of Want

Nowadays I seldom go to Orchard Road unless for an occasional lunch appointment. Last week I made a trip to Kinokuniya at Nee Ann City to buy some children books. Around late afternoon I went to the basement to have some snacks. I found a seat next to a table of well groomed ladies. From their conversation I could deduce they were Indonesian tourists. As their chat became more animated with laughter and hand gestures I began to notice their flashy fingers studded with coloured stones and diamonds.

After a while a group of Japanese tai tai came and plonked themselves and their shopping bags on the table to my right. They were very tastefully dressed. One younger lady was wearing a smart casual black dress which matched so well with her pastel purple clutch bag decked with soft silk roses. I had an interesting time scrutinising these two group of people. Whilst the ladies on my left were colourful and flashy the ladies on my right were tasteful and more pleasing to my eyes. Needless to say I think I look like a poor local cousin stuck in the middle, with my mid calf cargo pants and navy blue stripped T-Shirt which I bought at Premark London for 4 pounds (and which I always think is quite chic).

Instinctively afterwards I started to enter some shops although I meant to head home originally. So I dropped in at Espirit, Zara etc but was thankful that nothing of interest caught my eyes because the pricing wasn't to my liking. Just as I passed Warehouse there was this lovely purple blouse that charmed me (lingering effect of the purple clutch bag)and I dragged myself in to check the price; $149, and dragged myself out again. Even when I worked at my former job, I had never spent more than a $100 bucks on a blouse. "What audacity to spend $149 on a blouse when my current earned income is a tiny fraction of those grandeur days". So you see, whilst you are working you better spend and purchase whatever fancies you because once you retire you will find it difficult to "waste" money. Without the monthly cash inflow of your last drawn salary, you will be on austerity drive forever. You will only be looking at your income statement irrespective of how healthy your balance sheet may be.

Last week CNA also had a live morning show where businesses were invited to showcase their products. There was this business that sells couture jewelery. The camera man did a great job zooming in on an exquisitely beautiful piece of necklace made of a combination of pearls, crystals and diamonds. The designer said it was to give you a feeling that the pearls are floating. The host of the show was enthralled with a pair of dangling saphire ear rings and gave a little squeal when told the price was $60,000. The promoter then remarked that $60k is a very reasonable price to look good.

So I had a week experiencing some "wanting" seduced by the fashion and jewelery industry. For quite some time I have not felt any need to go shopping. In the school environment where I work I just need to look neat walking admist PE teachers wearing shorts and collar T-shirts and lady teachers wearing light and comfortable blouses (whilst trying to keep cool in the non air-cond classrooms and raising their voices on top of the childrens' chatter). Now I also begin to comprehend why people spend thousands on a bag, a piece of clothing or jewelery. They need to blend in with the circle and environment they move in. For me it is better out of sight to be out of want, and to avoid conflict with my internalised austerity drive.