Perhaps one symptom of getting old is when lyrics of songs which one sang as a child start playing in the mind. Of late this is happening quite a fair bit to me. My first exposure to music and songs were the hymns and choruses which I sang in primary school (other than the old evergreen mandarin songs of 50's blared over redifussion at home).
This particular hymn suddenly popped up in my mind after a visit to my student's home.The lyric goes like this:
"One door and only one
And yet its sides are 2
Inside and outside
On which side are you?
One door and only one
And yet its sides are 2
I'm on the inside
On which side are you?"
(Basically it is a Christian chorus which teaches about being saved when one chooses to be inside)
My recalling of this chorus has no religious angle. It is just so situational. This little Pri 3 girl is presented for counselling because of very high absenteeism rate. She could go for weeks without turning up at school. As the government now has a policy of compulsory education, there is a standard operating procedure to arrest the problem of high absenteeism. This includes home visit by school counsellor, family counselling by other agencies and court procedures when all effort fails. The MOE however hardly resort to the last step because honestly it is impractical to put more stress on the family which is usually already dysfunctional.
2 weeks ago I made a visit together with a social worker from a family service centre (FSC) to the girl's home. It was my fifth visit to the house. The first visit early in the year was the most successful because her mother was caught by surprise. So she acknowleged the importance of education, shared her health problems including her suffering from depression, spoke of her financial difficulties and promised to send the kids to school nevertheless. To assist her she was linked up to the FSC which offered free counselling service and which obtained for her a huge financial subsidy to put her child in student care thus enabling her to work etc. Effectively the family just needs to pay a nominal monthly amount of $5 to place the child in the student care which is directly opposite the school. After a short span of more regular attendance, the child reverted back to the routine of missing school and not turning up even at the student care as well.
At the second home visit, after knocking for almost 15 minutes, a tenant appeared at the door. We sought his help to get the girl's mum to talk to us. He reappeared after 5 minutes to pass a message that she was sick and unable to meet us. All other subsequent visits that followed were futile though we could sense that she was in the house. A neighbour shared with us that the kids are ferried every morning to a relative's house and return in the evening whilst the mother remains at home. Both the social worker and me are dumbfounded why she wouldn't bring the kids to the student care instead.
It is known that people sometimes find it hard to muster strength to reach out for help. In this case however help is at the doorstep for this family, within reach by just opening the door. As the knockings on the wooden door became louder and louder and the callings of her name became more of a nuisance to her neighbours (as if we were loan sharks) we took a breather and silence fell between us. The wooden door remained shut whilst we stared at the flame of the oil lamp hanging on the corridor. The flame fluttered a little but kept burning, casting a sense of sad incomprehension on the door that closed on us.
"One door and only one
And yet its side are 2......"
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Hypocrites
A few months ago I participated in a focus group for a research conducted by a friend's daughter for her university project. The focus group which I was in comprised of 5 people above 50 years and the feedback required of us at the tea session was our thoughts when the government first announced the intention to build the international resort and our thoughts now that they are in operation. Amongst the other participants there was a businessman and people working in finance, purchasing and journalism field. Surprisingly, it turned out that I was the one most worried about the negative social impact when the announcement was made and more so now. The others participants were more positive because of the economic benefits and the buzz the IRs brought about and believed that government measures would be sufficient to curb additction amongst the citizens. So I walked away thinking these people are not really very caring socially ( noble self image ).
When Genting Shares were publicly listed at 35cts I subscribed and got 9 lots. I sold 5 lots at just below a dollar and now the share is traded at above $2, more than 5 times IPO price. Everytime the share price rockets I would lament to my husband that I should not have sold and that I should have bought more from the market etc, etc. At the AGM when they ran out of lunch packs for the shareholders they gave out $50 vouchers that can be spent at the restaurants. I walked away feeling so happy. When I read news about businessmen losing millions at the IRs, I remarked jestfully to my husband that Genting makes money by bankrupting people. Now it dawns on me that I do have that "I love mankind but I hate people" mentality. This is a bit like Eliot Spitzer, former NY governor who was found to patronise prostitutes and who at the same time had prosecuted several prostitution rings in his career. He had risen in politics advocating ethics and integrity as cornerstones of his administration. So it goes to show that hypocrisy is in us (or at least some of us).
However the latest reports of foreign workers squandering their hard earned money at the casinos, office workers crossing over from Shenton Way to destress at MBS and busloads of housewives from Msia making a beeline for the gambling tables, I have been feeling less comfortable being a Genting shareholder (albeit a minor minor shareholder whose wish is for the company to make huge profits). No wonder the Muslims have guidelines for holding investments which must be Shariah compliant. Gambling and money lending businesses are amongst the forbidden investments. Seems like they understand human weaknesses and help people to avoid such dilemma or becoming hypocrites.
When Genting Shares were publicly listed at 35cts I subscribed and got 9 lots. I sold 5 lots at just below a dollar and now the share is traded at above $2, more than 5 times IPO price. Everytime the share price rockets I would lament to my husband that I should not have sold and that I should have bought more from the market etc, etc. At the AGM when they ran out of lunch packs for the shareholders they gave out $50 vouchers that can be spent at the restaurants. I walked away feeling so happy. When I read news about businessmen losing millions at the IRs, I remarked jestfully to my husband that Genting makes money by bankrupting people. Now it dawns on me that I do have that "I love mankind but I hate people" mentality. This is a bit like Eliot Spitzer, former NY governor who was found to patronise prostitutes and who at the same time had prosecuted several prostitution rings in his career. He had risen in politics advocating ethics and integrity as cornerstones of his administration. So it goes to show that hypocrisy is in us (or at least some of us).
However the latest reports of foreign workers squandering their hard earned money at the casinos, office workers crossing over from Shenton Way to destress at MBS and busloads of housewives from Msia making a beeline for the gambling tables, I have been feeling less comfortable being a Genting shareholder (albeit a minor minor shareholder whose wish is for the company to make huge profits). No wonder the Muslims have guidelines for holding investments which must be Shariah compliant. Gambling and money lending businesses are amongst the forbidden investments. Seems like they understand human weaknesses and help people to avoid such dilemma or becoming hypocrites.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Neuroplasticity
Today I learnt a new word "neuroplasticity" from listening to podcast.
The nerve cells in our brain or neurons are interconnected. Neuroplasticity refers to the ability of the neurons to add or remove connections in response to new information and experiences.
The programme was an interview with Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuropyschologist. The basic takeaway are:
1)As the mind changes, the brain changes.
2)As the brain changes, the mind changes.
3)Hence we can change the mind to change the brain which then change the mind.
1) As the mind changes, the brain changes. This refers to information and experiences that sculpt the brain. For example experiments have found that regular meditation could thicken the cortical layer of the brain in parts of the brains which are important for cognitive and emotional processing and well-being.
2) As the brain changes, the mind changes. As an example, it is believed when the insula in a person's brains is thicker, the person has bigger capacity for empathic responses. The reverse is also true in widely known changes to the mood and perception of patients suffering from partial brain damage.
3) It then follows that one can use one's mind skilfully to change the brain which can then change the mind for the better. "Neurons fire together wire together"- repeated patterns leave lasting residuals. Hence if one allows one's mind to dwell on certain themes repeatedly, the brain structure that results will cause the mind to rest on these themes. Hence it makes sense for one to dwell on the good things and train oneself to be grateful for the well being of the mind.
That is probably the foundation upon which many approaches of psychotherapy are based, . These include strength based therapy, solution focused therapy and positive psychology.
The nerve cells in our brain or neurons are interconnected. Neuroplasticity refers to the ability of the neurons to add or remove connections in response to new information and experiences.
The programme was an interview with Dr. Rick Hanson, a neuropyschologist. The basic takeaway are:
1)As the mind changes, the brain changes.
2)As the brain changes, the mind changes.
3)Hence we can change the mind to change the brain which then change the mind.
1) As the mind changes, the brain changes. This refers to information and experiences that sculpt the brain. For example experiments have found that regular meditation could thicken the cortical layer of the brain in parts of the brains which are important for cognitive and emotional processing and well-being.
2) As the brain changes, the mind changes. As an example, it is believed when the insula in a person's brains is thicker, the person has bigger capacity for empathic responses. The reverse is also true in widely known changes to the mood and perception of patients suffering from partial brain damage.
3) It then follows that one can use one's mind skilfully to change the brain which can then change the mind for the better. "Neurons fire together wire together"- repeated patterns leave lasting residuals. Hence if one allows one's mind to dwell on certain themes repeatedly, the brain structure that results will cause the mind to rest on these themes. Hence it makes sense for one to dwell on the good things and train oneself to be grateful for the well being of the mind.
That is probably the foundation upon which many approaches of psychotherapy are based, . These include strength based therapy, solution focused therapy and positive psychology.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
