Intern at 50+

Has been really busy with assignments, practicum, short holiday with family etc etc. Got an attachment with a Family Service Centre (FSC) to practise counseling and to accumulate the 100 hours of practicum so required. Indeed being an intern when you are 50+ comes with mixed feelings. Used to be when I was working in a statutory board many many years ago, internship period called for a lot of negotiation among division heads, tai-chi-ing and coming up with creative excuses not to be able to accept any. One morning when you noticed 1 or 2 fresh looking youths waiting patiently outside your office when you stepped in, you squirmed and summoned your staff. "How to teach and involve them when we are so busy?" " You trust them to do this and that meh?" Common excuses sigh. "Never mind ask them to read annual report and procedural manual first hehe"

Well that must be retribution I thought on my first day of internship. I was given a desk (fortunately they have one unoccupied desk) without phone and desktop, nearest the entrance. Since everyone was so busy I spent my first couple of sessions going through procedural manual, familiarise with reports and various forms that need to be submitted , and knowing laid down policies.I was REALLY BORED and would have felt even more uneasy had it not been for the friendliness of the social workers. You know social workers are the more friendly and caring type so at least I felt less awkward. Because I was bored I told them if they needed help they could just call on me. So I helped one called up home shelters to enquire about vacancies for her client which was good because I got to know the resources available. But something really funny, the boss asked me literally to do counting to help in the quarterly statistical report. Gosh I told myself "What am I doing here, counting the number of cases instead of counting billions of $$$ at my previous job?" My my this really needs getting down from riding on the high horse.
Maybe because I acted humble, and maybe because I showed the boss I wanted to assimilate into the centre, I was given 2 counselling cases quite soon after.But the most humbling experience for me was when they allowed me to join them in their monthly session with their consultant. This is a session when they discussed difficult cases getting input and advice from the consultant and learning from others. It was such a useful and fruitful session for me. It really places me when I really belong, a NOVICE. I have so much so much to learn and I know I need to start from scratch, just like the interns I took in many many years ago.

I May not Win but I can't be Thrown

Recognise the lyrics of this song:




Sometimes I wonder where I've been
Who I am, do I fit in.
Make believin' is hard alone
Out here on my own
We're always proving who we are
Always reaching for that rising star
To guide me far, and shine me home
Out here on my own

(When I'm down and feelin' blue,
I close my eyes so I can be with you.
Baby be strong for me, baby belong to me
Help me through, help me need you)

Until the morning sun appears
Making light of all my fears,
I dry the tears I've never shown
Out here on my own

(But when I'm down and feelin' blue...)

Sometimes I wonder where I've been,
Who I am, do I fit in.
I may not win, but I can't be thrown,
Out here on my own.
Out here on my own.


This song still holds true for me sometimes, what more my young clients and my children as well. But I love most the last few phrases " I may not win but I can't be thrown ". I wish they will always feel the same

I am so touched- Obama president

What a historical moment. (Watching CNN live)
Obama is elected president. US has come a long way. People shed tears on TV, even people in the discussion panel. A symbol that if you believe long enough, something so seemingly impossible , CAN COME TRUE.
Also especially real for me watching CNN live which shows the huge crowd at Harlem and at the same time chatting with my daughter who says she can hear them, a few streets from Columbia.
I lost a bet with my children which we made sometime back because I didnt't believe US can overcome their racial prejudices. I am all too happy to lose the bet.
US's first black president, I thought it only appears in movies.
I am just documenting below what people in US are saying:
"Americans are proud of themselves, is is so inspirational, this is a transition. A symbol of so much to so many".
Oh Boy i am now watching Obama coming on stage and I too want to cry. It is so HISTORICAL (remember I am a sucker for History). He says amongst much, i pick out those i like: America is a place where all things are possible. New sense of common purpose, unyielding hope, Out of many we are one.
Watching now Obama's and Biden's family members come onstage and embrace each other you really get this feeling that despite difference in race it can be one big family. And then you see the blacks and the whites in the crowd crying, you think the world has really taken another big step forward. And the TV just play good music and let these scenes roll and roll witholding commentaries and let the feeling sink in.